I am a college going girl of 20 years. I always keep thinking about anything bad and remain sad. I always want to be alone and leave my home or to hurt myself in anyway. If I am with my friends then I'll be ok and don't let them even know about that I am depressed but as they leave I am again like before. I feel like. Lie on bed and remain silent. Dont want to speak even a word, don't even want to move, neither wanna eat anything nor drink. I don't even want anyone around me. I want to be alone forever. I want to be at a place where no one knows me. I am feeling like i am going mad.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist46yrs exp

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To really understand your problem in its totality, is to go back home to your family of origin to trace some of the genesis of your problems. You may ignore all my assessments for want of complete evidence, and that is okay. I am not the world?s perfect diagnostic man, nor do I boast of knowing it all. So feel free to take what appeals and dump the rest in the garbage can. In my opinion, I think that your problem lies in the fear of rejection. This rejection is usually founded in your family of origin, and is somewhat manifest in some descriptions you have given already. This is not to find fault in your parents: they may have done a lot of things with good intentions but may have inadvertently set up rejection. If you go way back, and see if there was any rejection prenatally or postnatally (again all this with intention or without), the child will pick up the sensation or feel like she is not wanted or even rejected. As you can see, I am presuming all this. You will have to give it substance, if you so have the substance. Without reaching to any conclusions, just indulge in this thought to see if there is any semblance of truth to explore it further. Your parents may throw light on this but don?t share too much of what I saying until it has been verified. Also find out, if there was an abortion or miscarriage before or after you were born. Whether you were wanted by both parents at birth. Whether they expected a male child and were disappointed that you were a girl. How long were you breast-fed by mom etc? These will all throw some light on my proposal of rejection, if there is any truth. You must be your best friend but when you want to hurt yourself then it is a sign that you have become your worst enemy. The solution is really very simple: you must accept and love yourself, first. Take all this material and meet with a counselor with your parents and get some help to resolve the rejection. Withdrawn from people will add to the depression: your resolution lies with being and loving people! 

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