I am 20 years old. I live in a rural area (village). For the last 3-4 years I feel like I don't want anyone around me. I feel much better alone. I don't like to talk much to large no of people. I don't feel comfortable when I sit between so many people and I don't have much to talk n discuss with them. I am from himachal but now m studying in Punjab pursuing medicine. So during my holidays I don't like to visit home I like to stay in hostel. I don't like to talk much to other people ,although I had never been like that, I used to be very cheerful person. When I was 11 I was sexually touched I a very bad way but I never told about this to anyone, n that was my uncle n from that time I feel so depressed. It happened to me 3 times but I never told anyone. Whenever I am alone I feel so bad starts crying without any reason. I don't have much friends. Its difficult for me to make friends. N all my friendships never lasts long. Sometimes I feel like nobody needs me n I should die but I can't.its like sudden attack of sadness when I am alone without any reason. Sometimes I remember bad things that happens to me in past and starts crying, although I try much not to remember those. But all in vain. Even in family functions I don't like to take part, I try best to not interact with anyone .these things make me very depressed. Whenever I sit between other people I couldn't talk becoz I feel like they will make fun of me. I don't like to go home. Sometimes so many bad things are going on in my head and I can't help myself. I don't like to play now. I had always been teased at home becoz during my childhood I use to dance like girls. But sexually I am straight n nothing wrong with my sexual life. But whenever many people try to talk about their childhood I feel like to rush away from that place, may be becoz they will make fun of my activities. Many people told me like you look like a girl when I was 13 and up to 15. But m OK sexually n straight. But I don't know why if anyone say me this now I feel like I should stab that person. I feel so depressed n this affects my studies alot. Although I am very good student n one of 5 toppers of my class. But besides that I take so much time to prepare the whole syllabus at a time becoz these bad things continuously run in head n distract me away from my studies. I cry a lot when I am alone. I always live in fantasies that m above the sky becoz I have so many dreams in my life. But I always stop myself, that what will people say to me. I feel so stressed at least 4 days in a week. I had many bad experiences in my life. I had always wanted to be far away from my home n now finally I m. I always feel like to migrate to any such place where nobody knows me n even I don't know anyone there .I want myself to be so far from those who know me. I want to go under plastic surgery so that people don't recognise me .n want to start a new life on my own conditions. I have been teased on so many unnecessary topics by family friends and those things makes me so anxious n depressed. I want them to kill away but I can't do this. E.g I like cooking, so they will say that its for girls and starts to call me girls n a woman. These things look very small reason to others but these affected my childhood a lot. I never wanted to see them again. So just my ques is m I dealing with depression or something else? please help me n advice me, how can I overcome to this?