Sexology In Harmony

Masturbation is rarely discussed, even amongst the closest of friends. Even though this is a normal part of human sexuality, society frowns on it and young people are often taught to avoid masturbation. Lack of knowledge and opportunities to talk about it have given rise to a number of myths on this subject.

Let's take a look at a few of them. 

Masturbation can damage the genitals
Touching your genitals is very unlikely to damage them. The sex organs are designed to withstand friction and hence are very tough organs. The maximum damage that can be caused by masturbation is a little chafing. Using lubricant can prevent this from occurring. 

It causes health problems
Pleasuring yourself is the ultimate form of safe sex. There is no way for you to catch an STD or for it to cause any sort of mental health problem. The only risks involved are allergic reactions to lubricants or toys and a feeling of guilt or shame due to societal pressure. 

It lowers the chances of you having an orgasm during sex
Masturbation does not reduce your sex drive or prevent you from having orgasms. Many people also claim that women get addicted to vibrators and cannot enjoy sex without them. However, there is no truth behind this. 

Masturbation is akin to cheating
Single people as well as people in committed relationships masturbate. While it can lead to problems in a relationship depending on your partner's views about it, it does not amount to cheating on him or her. 

It can cause blindness
Blindness is the most outrageous myth associated with self-induced orgasms. Till date, there has not been a medical case to prove it. 

It causes infertility
Pleasuring yourself does not reduce your chances of getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant. However, for men with a low sperm count, restricting ejaculations while trying to get their partner pregnant is a good idea. The only way masturbation can lead to infertility is if partners who share sex toys do not keep them clean and pass on STDs through them. 

Only men masturbate
Men and women across the world masturbate. 

It can cause erectile dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction has a number of psychological and biological causes such as heart disease, stress and obesity but masturbation is not one of them. 

Eating certain foods can help control the urge to masturbate

Pleasuring yourself is normal and not affected by what you eat or do not eat. 

It is only for young people
Men and women of all ages can enjoy self-induced orgasms. This does not have any adverse effects on your health.

Popping pills is something we cannot do away with completely. But something that should be borne in mind that every drug is used for one of its particular property which is healing, but on the other hand, it also has, almost always, the not-so-nice effects. These side effects could sometimes be as simple as nausea or itching to something as serious as shooting up blood sugar levels.

Talking of side effects, do you know that Viagra was originally used for pulmonary hypertension and its side effect was improved performance in patients with erectile dysfunction (ED)?  Viagra thus became the famous magical blue pill for patients with ED. On the other hand, there are quite a few drugs that can lower your libido levels.

Listed below are some of the regularly used medicines that can impact your sexual life.

Antihypertensives - Medications that are aimed at reducing blood pressure (diuretics and alpha and beta adrenergic blockers) have a negative effect on the sexual life. Switching drugs after medical consultation is an alternate.

Antidepressants - With depression on the rise, more and more people are prescribed anti-depressants, especially the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs). Both these increase the mood but lower the libido, in up to 50% of the patients. Added amount of cardio workout could be a work-around for patients on SSRIs. Reducing the dose of TCAs could help improve sexual function.

Proscar - Benign prostatic hypertrophy (BPH) is a common condition seen in aging men, and finasteride is used for its treatment. This prevents conversion of testosterone to its active form and thereby reduces sexual function. Surgical correction of BPH could be an alternative.

Antihistamines - Common cold cures like diphenhydramine and chlorpheniramine affect sexual life too. The good news is that these drugs are cleared out of the system within 24 hours and the side effect does not last long either. In patients who might need these chronically, this side effect should be borne in mind.

Anti-seizure drugs: Drug like terbetrol which is used to cure seizure does the same for the sexual act, which is physiologically akin to a seizure -impulse traveling slower along the nerve. If noticed, an alternative medication should be used.

Opioids - For severe chronic pain, Vicodin and OxyContin are used but these reduce testosterone levels and thereby reduce sexual drive too. Use of testosterone creams could be a substitute.

In all these cases, the key is to have a discussion with your doctor as soon as you realize it could be affecting your sex life. 
 

STDs are nothing but those diseases that are usually invited by sexual intimacy or intercourse. Some of these diseases are even life threatening at times, and if you want to prevent them, then you have to adopt a few preventive measures.

Best preventive measures for preventing STDs:

- Using latex condoms: Latex condoms need to be used during sex every time, and these condoms are the safest of all condom varieties available in the market. Both pregnancy and STDs can be easily and efficiently prevented by means of these condoms, and this is the reason everybody is using the same. But you should have the knowledge of correct usage of these condoms. 

- Keeping intimate areas clean: Do not ever forget to wash your genitals after or before making intercourse with your partner and this is needed for preventing sexual diseases. Sometimes, excessive lubrication during sexual intercourse brings infectious diseases, and thus your genitals get exposed to sexual diseases. 

- Stop sharing items: Sharing under-garments or towels with your friends or close mates can be very much dangerous as you might develop STDs. Even if you have allowed somebody using these personal items of yours, you have to wash them carefully before using the same. 

- Avoid multiple sex-partners: Both the sex partners should be loyal to each other and should not make sex with multiple partners as that will invite STDs. Having sex with more than one partner can be quite dangerous as a result of which your genital organs get infected and this infection later on turns into serious sexual diseases that cannot be easily treated. 

- Avoiding unhealthy lifestyle: If you are exposed to excessive smoking, drugs and alcohol, then you might develop different kinds of STDs. Therefore, you are highly recommended to lead a completely healthy lifestyle so that a healthy sexual life can be enjoyed. You will never be able to have safe sex if you are so very addicted to alcohol, smoking and drugs. 

- Have vaccination: Vaccination is now considered as one of the safest methods for preventing STDs. HPV vaccines are the popular, and the most recommended ones and thus teenagers can take them before getting sexually active. Hepatitis-B vaccinations are also required for getting increased protection against serious sexual diseases, especially AIDS and others. HIV testing is also very much essential in this regard, and you should not avoid the same.

Paraphilia is a condition involving abnormal sexual desires or being aroused only by specific activities that deviate from the average interests. The arousal of people with paraphilia are bound by fantasizing about certain situations or activities that not necessarily 'normal'.

There are hundreds of recognized sexual paraphilia. A few of the most commonly known examples include:

1. Necrophilia: Involves being sexually aroused by corpses

2. Paedophilia: It is being aroused by prepubescent children

3. Narratophilia: Being aroused by obscene words.

4. Metrophilia: Being aroused by poetry

5. Masochism: Being aroused by suffering, being bound or beaten

6. Sadism: Arousal that comes with inflicting pain on others

7. Anthropophagolagnia: Involves raping and then eating the corpse of the victim

8. Coprophilia: Arousal involving faeces

9. Pictophilia: Arousal involving pornography or erotic pictures

10. Zoophilia: Involving animals

While some of these fantasies are harmless indulgences, some might be a serious threat to the person and the society. Anthropophagolagnia, for example, is one of the most dangerous examples of paraphilia. Ted Bundy, one of the most talked about cases in criminal psychology, was known to practice Anthropophagolagnia.

Some cases of paraphilia, when done with a consenting partner and indulged in discreetly, need not be especially a threat to others, for example, Metrophilia and Narratophilia. However, the likes of paedophilia, necrophilia and paraphilia involving rape fantasies are pathological in nature and can be considered abnormal and outright dangerous for the overall health and sanctity of the society.

Symptoms of paraphilia include the severe obsession with a particular fantasy or object to the point the individual is unable to attain sexual satisfaction without it.

The development of paraphilia, from a psychoanalytic perspective, is attributed to the arousal caused by a particular behaviour in childhood. From a behaviouristic perspective, sexual arousal may be attached to a particular object if both the instances have repeatedly occurred together around the concerned individual, thus conditioning them. An individual who is the victim or observer of inappropriate sexual acts may develop a paraphilia concerning that very act.

Treatment

For treatment of sexual paraphilia, drugs that regulate testosterone levels and arousal levels have been used to reduce the sexual arousal while the therapy continues. Antidepressants have been used to reduce sex drive but they do little about the fantasies. Psychoanalytic approach and hypnosis have been used in therapy. In some cases, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (a therapy which focuses on conversations regarding how one’s thoughts and beliefs can affect his/her actions) and systematic desensitization (systematically and gradually letting go of such odd fantasies) have been used to cause a reduction in the conditioning of the fantasy and sexual arousal. Prolonged therapy and medications are used largely for the treatment of paraphilia. For the ones that are a threat to the society, quarantine (separating the extreme paraphilic cases from the rest of the society) is suggested in some countries.

Being able to pleasure your woman in bed can be a very rewarding experience. However, you must know that the key point in pleasing your partner is to bring variety.  It is said that variety is the spice of life and it is certainly so in the bed room. To provide variety, you need to know certain points in her body which are erogenous in nature:

1. Head: The skin on the human head is pleasurable to the touch and that is the reason head massages feel so good.  If you stimulate the scalp correctly, feel good hormones called oxytocin and serotonins are released in the body. It also increases blood flow to your partner's brain and her entire body. So next time, don't just kiss and cuddle, but also stroke her head. The result will be phenomenal.
2. Ears: Ears usually get less attention although there are many nerve endings present in them. This makes them an extremely erogenous spot. Your partner can be aroused by a light caress near the ear or even soft music while you are cuddling together. 
3. Lips: The lips are the most sexually exposed parts of the body. A huge number of nerve endings are present in the lips. Stimulating the lips also a feel good hormone which affect not only your partner's emotions but also her lady parts. This reason makes the act of kissing the lips extremely essential for couples. 
4. Neck: The neck is another very active erogenous zone within the female body and is sensitive to even the lightest touch. It is also an extremely sexy place to touch and kiss your partner. Even a gentle breath on the neck can arouse her. It is a great place to sexually stimulate her.
5. Nipples: The nipples are extremely sensitive and erogenous in nature. If you are able to stimulate them properly, your partner will experience the same pleasure she will derive from the stimulation of her clitoris and her vagina. Some women can even orgasm from the stimulation of nipples.

Some of the other erogenous parts include the clitoris, the inner thighs, the lower back, and her feet. Just feel free to explore them in her body, and you will be able to give her the pleasure you wanted to. Also remember every woman is different and while certain things may be sexy for one person it may not be the same for another person and ensure that you communicate with her regarding what she likes and dislikes.
 

Imagine a three-course meal where intercourse is the dessert and foreplay is like the main course. Sure you can go straight to dessert, but it is all the more satiating when followed by a meal. The most common idea of foreplay is probably a lick on the ear and kisses trailing down your neck. But research suggests that sticking to one single routine can desensitize your parts and the effect just fizzles out.

Revive your ideas of great foreplay with the following tips:

1. Aim for the area around the lips: People mostly focus on the plump part of the lips, ignoring a sensual, arousing sweet spot which borders the lips. Your lips and its periphery contain several blood vessels. Slowly brushing through that area will give you a tingling, almost ticklish sensation that will run through your spine.
2. The little triangle: The entire neck region is a highly erogenous spot. This includes the ears and the spot behind it, the neck and the shoulders. However, the junction where the collarbone meets your neck, the little triangle, has a thinner skin enveloping it. Linger around the spot a little longer maybe, before running down to the more obvious erogenous regions.
3. Trail the thighs: The area around your thighs is home to one of the most explosive nerves that can simply make your breath go into hyper drive. Start with supple, soft kisses around your thighs, with stray light strokes. This excites your genital area more because the nerves on the thighs directly lead to the genitals. This move will probably have your partner asking for more.
4. Talk dirty: This act can have your partner flying off the handles if done right. You may want to test the temperature first in order to know what degree of talks does your partner like. Whether he is into low-key dirty talks or full-blown adjectives.
5. Try the blindfold: That little accessory can really spice things up in the bedroom. It will drive your partner crazy expecting what is coming next. Try a tie or an eye mask if you don’t have a blindfold in handy.

Everyone has their favourites when it comes to physical intimacy. Be it missionary, cowgirl or doggy. Your ideal sex position is probably the position in which you climax the best, but psychologically speaking, the way you like it says quite a bit about your personality in bed. It plays more with your sub-conscious. Here is a list of common position and what it says about you:

1. Missionary: How it is done? This is the classic when it comes to sex. We pretty much start it off with this. This position involves the woman on her back while the man is on top. What it says about him- Although this is a very intimate position, it may suggest that you are not very comfortable about your move. It can also mean that a man likes to keep control as it is he who controls the pace. What it says about her - It might mean that she enjoys intimacy and eye contact. Maybe she’s not too experimental and likes it simple.
2. Woman on top: How it is done? The name in itself is quite self explanatory. This position can be done in a lot of ways, be it the regular cowgirl or reverse. What it says about him - A man who enjoys this position finds pleasure in pleasuring her woman. He feels okay about being submissive and having her woman enjoy. What it says about her - You like being in control of your own pleasure. It allows you to maintain the pace and depth of the activity. 
3. Spooning: How it is done? It qualifies as a super intimate position. In this you lie on your side and the man enters you from behind. This is practically a hybrid of sex and cuddling at the same time. What it says about him - A man who likes spooning is a passionate and sensual lover. This is also the best position for a lazy Sunday morning. What it says about her - In this position, the woman feels secure about her man. It is a relaxed position and can make you go on for a long time. This is probably a romantic’s favourite move.
4. Doggystyle: How it is done? This position has a certain animalistic undertone to it. It involves a man entering the woman when she is on all fours. What it says about him - This is not exactly a very intimate position. It is far from it. This position probably suggests that you are unromantic and like your distance. What it says about her - This is probably every man’s favourite. If you like this position, it means you like being submissive. You like your man taking charge of your body and you trust him entirely.

Erectile dysfunction is referred to as the inability of getting or achieving an erection that is firm enough to help you have a sexual intercourse. It is also referred to as impotence. Occasional erectile dysfunction is quite common and one may experience it at times of stress though frequent ED can be a sign of a serious health issue that requires clinical evaluation. It can also be a sign of emotional or relationship problems that need to be addressed by an expert when you are not able to handle them.

Types
In case of males, there are four different types of sexual dysfunctions, including erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, inhibited ejaculation and low sex drive. In case of women, vaginal dryness, lack of sexual drive and painful intercourse are regarded as sexual dysfunction.

Causes
Erection problems inevitably lead to considerable emotional as well as psychological reactions in most men, which are often described as a pattern of stress and anxiety. These further complicate the normal sexual function. In the case of aged men, sexual dysfunction is caused due to depression or other psychological complexes like widower syndrome. There are some physical causes behind sexual dysfunction, including stress, high blood sugar, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, high cholesterol levels and prostate cancer. Besides, certain respiratory and systemic ailments also contribute to sexual dysfunction.

Symptoms
A family doctor is a good thing to start with if you are experiencing problems in getting an erection or keeping it or you feel a reduced sexual drive. Other symptoms of sexual dysfunction in men include premature ejaculation or excessively delayed ejaculation or no ejaculation at all. In case of females, sexual hazards lead to a lack of sexual drive and vaginal dryness which in turn lead to pain while having intercourse.

Treatments
Sexual dysfunction is a hazard only if it intervenes with your daily sexual activities. As female sexual problems incorporate various symptoms and causes, the treatment varies to a great extent. It is important to communicate the concerns with your partner and take the time out to understand the problem. You should refrain from smoking and consuming alcohol and be active physically. Even free hand exercise and Yoga help in relieving stress so that you can be able to enjoy your lovemaking to the fullest possible extent.

If simple lifestyle changes don’t seem to help your condition, you shall have to seek medical aid where the expert can adjust your medication, optimise the treatment for anxiety or depression or recommend oestrogen or androgen therapies as per requirements.