I am anjali (18 years old), suffering from major depression since last two-three years, scored 87 in goldberg's depression test and this year was the worst of all I somehow suffered from hypomania as I learned about its symptoms now online. I am not able to judge my awkward behaviour. I even had anxiety attacks not very much but more than rare. Depression took place from last three to four years back leading me to live all alone without telling anyone about my problems as ultimately no one believes in what I say. And everyone including my family members tend to say I talk rubbish, can never stick to a point while explaining something. It lead to me with poor results in school, family and everywhere and all over I am trying to get rid of this disgusting life and tried to commit suicide from last two years but unfortunately I am not able to judge my unusual behaviour which makes me a fool in front of everyone and no one is able to get my awkward behaviour. I always forget things happen just a minute before, have racing thoughts in my mind, always lack self confidence and become nervous but I don't know how I become so much active and become overconfident, excessively cry always but sometimes I laugh excessively and try to joke poorly and realize afterwards what have I done in front of everyone. I am totally confused about me and my life. Even while trying to get rid of this life I think that after this also everyone will blame me of being responsible for all this. What should I do? Please help me out.