I had break up some 2-3 years ago. After that l gain some strength and continue my life but again depression come over me since I saw her some days ago. I had a feeling that I will not able to achieve success in my life. I always day dream to do some unreal work to get her back which is not possible in this life. I look fat and old which also took me to depressed situation. Please tell me what should I do to get a proper life.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist46yrs exp

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2-3 years is a long while ago and if you still feel like this, then you probably loved her dearly. But like you said you have probably not moved on in the real sense. Go and get into an exercise regimen, diet schedule and work out all the fat. This should not be done to prove anything to this girl but for your own satisfaction. When an apt girl turns up you should be ready and fit. You must first learn to love yourself and you will do a lot of good things to build your self-image and confidence. Your negative thinking will make a negative man and a failure. Go for a personality development course, public speaking skills course, personal grooming course and learn stress management too. These are all investments in yourself if you love yourself first. You are still young and life has just begun. You probably focussed too much on pleasing this girl and that is where you might have made a blunder. If you do not appreciate who you are, how will a girl appreciate you? Pay good attention to yourself and start looking smart and get yoru life organized. 

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