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Top Health Tips on Improving Relationships

Infidelity: How to Overcome it

MBBS, MCCEE, Fellowship in Sexual Medicine
Sexologist, Jaipur
Infidelity: How to Overcome it
Over the years, Infidelity has surfaced as the single most common reason that has the ability to shatter and dismantle a perfectly happy relationship. Infidelity can occur in any and every form of relationship and in each of them it is deemed as unacceptable and uncalled for. Lack of affection has been generally identified as the primary cause why people stray. However there are other reasons too that cause infidelity. Some of them are:

Bad judgment
The person who is held responsible for going astray may actually be the victim of bad judgement and an impulsive decision. There may not be anything wrong with the marriage but momentary attraction and a rash decision are possible reasons that lead a person astray.

Search for an emotional connect
A lack of emotional connect with the partner can be a possible reason for infidelity. An unquenchable thirst for attention and the need to be flattered as well finding an emotional connect with a new person causes infidelity. Though the most common and devastating outcome of infidelity is the end of a relationship.

There are ways one that helps one to overcome infidelity. Some of them are as follows:

Ending the affair immediately
The first and foremost step that you must take in overcoming infidelity is to end the affair immediately. If your relationship is important to you, then it would require your complete investment both physically and emotionally. You must snap all contacts with the other person and concentrate on rebuilding your relationship with renewed faith and trust.
Open discussion
If you want the relationship to work then you must have a completely free and open discussion with your partner. Coming clean about your past affair is imperative if you want to begin anew. Your partner deserves a complete, honest discussion and you must do it delicately and with a lot of care.
Willingness to compromise
Beginning a relationship after confessing about the past relationships requires a lot of hard work and compromises. It will take a long time for the relationship to be what it was before the infidelity and you should take complete responsibility for it as well have a willingness to compromise on certain issues.
Marriage therapy
Apart from attempts to amend yourself, you can also use the help of a marriage therapist. A marriage counselor or a therapist through prolonged discussions and sound counsels can avert the possible ending of the relationship.
7768 people found this helpful

Premarital Self Sexual Assessment - Know Its Importance!

Sexologist, Mumbai
Premarital Self Sexual Assessment - Know Its Importance!
People often consider their wedding as the most important day of their lives. Well however, that is a myth. The most important days of your life are followed by your wedding. That is the time that you lay the foundation for a strong and happy married life. The building of this foundation may be affected by some things, the most important factor being failing venereal activities.

Go to a specialist before your big day, so that the days that follow don t embarrass you in front of your partner.

Become aware:
Not being aware of your sexual potencies is a threat to your conjugal life. People today are too busy planning their wedding and making lavish expenses. But most often they ignore another important factor.

Do you know what is that?
What is important apart from this is the premarital self sexual assessment. Don t let your first time with your partner be the very first time you test your abilities. Even a good car needs its test run before it leaves the factory and almost every car needs a good service for better performance. That is exactly what premarital self-sexual assessment is.

In case you are not all that aware of the self-assessment techniques or need an expert s guidance, make your way to a specialist, in this case, a Sexologist and get help. Checking your sexual wellness before your wedding is the most important task at hand and nothing tops it on the priority list.

Why do you need premartial self sexual assessment?
In case you are torn between the decisions of whether to visit a sexologist or not, here are a few factors that make Premarital Self Sexual Assessment mandatory for you-

It helps you to assess your ability to perform
It helps you to make sure of your parenting future
It helps you to prevent yourself and your partner from any sexually transmitted diseases, and most importantly
It saves you from the embarrassment of non or unsatisfactory performance for the first time, post wedding
How does premartial self sexual assessment works?
There are some ways that you can self-assess your sexual potencies. Some of the most effective ways include:

Ejaculation Time: Monitor whether you are stricken by premature ejaculation. If yes, take the help of a specialist to delay it. Also, check whether you have a satisfactory ejaculation. Non- satisfactory ejaculation can lead to some health issues in the future.
Erection Wellness: A great help extended by the premarital self-sexual assessment is checking of your erection wellness. In case there is the unsatisfactory erection, treatment from a specialist can help you reach optimal erection.
Libido Wellness at Home: Another factor to be addressed during premarital self-sexual assessment is Libido Wellness at home.
The Complete Recovery from ED and PE: Dual Action Package is the most effective way of dealing with any unsatisfactory sexual condition. Here is where it becomes important for you to consult a sexologist before marriage. A sexologist will provide you with the best Premarital Sexual Assessment as well as the best treatment to put you in the best of your form.
5764 people found this helpful

Pre-Marriage Counselling - Is It Really Required?

Sexologist, Mumbai
Pre-Marriage Counselling - Is It Really Required?
Marriage is the union of not only two individuals but the coming together of their families and friends. Couples, be it an arranged marriage or a love marriage, have a number of things to consider and agree upon for their relationship to be successful. Although they talk about everything under the sun from children to house to finances, one subject that rarely receives much consideration is sex. Even if both partners have had sex with other people in the past and are sexually active in their current relationship, they shy away from discussing it with each other in most cases.

In recent times, many couples have opted to discuss the sexual aspect of their impending marriage with a sex counselor. The concept of pre-marital sexual counseling is at a nascent stage and is frowned and looked down upon by society as a whole. But it is almost imperative to not only educate couples about sex but also to make them aware of their and their partner s sexual needs and preferences. The most important aspect of sexual counseling is effective communication resulting in sexual harmony. It also gives couples certain clarity as to what to expect 20 or 30 years down the line when both partners may have decreased libido.

Reasons why you should go for pre-marital sexual counseling:

Misconceptions and Fears- There are many myths regarding sex such as masturbation is wrong or sexual penetration is painful. Sex education is not provided in schools and the lack of it creates a gap between knowledge and misinformation. Couples, especially women who will be engaging in sex for the first time, should not feel scared about the activity. Sex counseling can do away with all such misconceptions and clear the way for a satisfying sexual experience.
Awareness- Often couples fail to communicate properly about their desires and fantasies surrounding sex. Therefore, talking in front of a sex counselor may help a couple discuss everything about sex ranging from sexual frequency to compatibility. You can have an open dialogue with your partner regarding sex and also talk about your likes and dislikes concerning foreplay, orgasm and other key parts of sexual intercourse.
Pregnancy Planning- Women often get confused when it comes to their menstrual cycle and pregnancy. This confusion might result in unprotected sex. It's important to know the nitty-gritty of your ovulation and the functions of contraceptives to plan your pregnancy in a manner so that you are prepared physically, emotionally, mentally and financially. A sex counselor is able to enlighten couples about this part as well.
Information about STDs- Many couples do not have the basic understanding of HIV/AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). They also do not know how to use a condom properly, thereby resulting in unanticipated and unwanted circumstances. In such cases, pre-marriage counseling helps a couple gain knowledge about the same.
If you are getting married, then you and your partner should go for pre-marital counseling to create a solid foundation for your sacred union.
5728 people found this helpful

Infidelity - 4 Tips For You

PhD Human Genetics
Infidelity - 4 Tips For You
Over the years, infidelity has surfaced as the single most common reason that has the ability to shatter and dismantle a perfectly happy relationship. Infidelity can occur in any and every form of relationship and in each of them it is deemed as unacceptable and uncalled for. And each of them leaves the persons with feelings of betrayal, anger and guilt. There are 101 reasons for infidelity even among the harmonious marriages - emotional disconnection from a partner is cited one of the most common causes. Feeling deprived of affection, appreciation, emotional support, feeling lonely and sad and the consequent feelings of anger and resentment all culminate into why people stray.

Bad judgment - But it could be as simple as impulsive decisions and acts too. The primary relationship (that is, the relationship with the spouse or long-term partner) maybe perfectly harmonious, yet in a momentary attraction and a rash decision a person may sow the seeds for infidelity.
Sexual dissatisfaction - Sexual dissatisfaction is stated as another important cause.
Search for an emotional connect - Many a time, it's also the urge for attention, to be flattered, and to be attracted by someone, causes infidelity.
Whatever the reasons for one to stray away, the act shatters the trust of the betrayed persons, and everything they believe to be true about the partner. People find themselves crying a lot, not being able to concentrate, being upset, and feeling depressed. The most common and devastating outcome of infidelity is the end of a relationship. However, emotions change over time. Once the initial shock is over, there are steps one might try before walking out of the relationship-

Ending the affair immediately - The first and foremost step that one must take in overcoming infidelity is to end the affair immediately. If your relationship is important to you, then it would require your complete investment both physically and emotionally. You must snap all contacts with the other person and concentrate on rebuilding your relationship with renewed faith and trust.
Open discussion - If you want the relationship to work then you must have a completely free and open discussion with your partner. Coming clean about your past affair is imperative if you want to begin anew. Your partner deserves a complete, honest discussion and you must do it delicately and with a lot of care.
Willingness to compromise - Beginning a relationship after confessing about the past relationships requires a lot of hard work and compromises. It will take a long time for the relationship to be nearly what it was before the infidelity and you should take complete responsibility for it, as well as have a willingness to compromise on certain issues.
Marriage therapy - Apart from attempts to amend yourself, you can also take the help of a marriage therapist. A marriage counselor or a therapist can, through a series of sessions of discussions and sound counsels, avert the possible ending of the relationship.
5043 people found this helpful

Lack Of Sexual Desire - How Can A Doctor Help?

Fellowship, Council of Sex Education & Parenthood, BAMS, B-Pharm
Sexologist, Jaipur
Lack Of Sexual Desire - How Can A Doctor Help?
Today, there is no disease that cannot be cured. Be it related to any part of the body, medications and doctors can come to your rescue immediately. Similarly, low sex drive is also curable. It is a medical condition, caused due to various factors and can be treated under the proper guidance of a doctor. The condition is known as Inhibited Sexual Desire (ISD). A person suffering from ISD exhibits only one symptom: low sexual desire. A person suffering from ISD refuses to engage in sexual activities with anyone. It has been observed that they neither start nor respond to anyone s sexual move or overtures. It is a common problem faced by the new age couples in the metro cities.

ISD can be of two different types: primary and secondary. If the patient has never developed sexual desire in his or her lifetime, the condition is primary. The secondary condition occurs when a person began a relationship with the opposite sex partner with normal drive but later gave up the interest towards sexual activities.

Sometimes, patients also develop situational ISD due to stress ad strains in a relationship. The patient may have sexual desire towards others and be disinterested with his or her partner. Whatever may be the condition, medical guidance by a trained and experienced doctor is a must. Here s how your doctor can help you in gaining back your interest in sexual activities:

1. Counseling: A doctor can treat ISD by counseling. It has been found that many couples first need marriage counselling to improve their relationship first. The training will help couples in learning how to express their love and affection towards each other and respect each other s emotions and feelings. The couples should also know how to vent their anger and resolve problems and differences in their conjugal life. The sexual counselling helps couple to learn how to carry out their sexual activities in an interesting manner. The doctor then may prescribe you (in case of males) some drugs to activate your sex life.

2. Hormone Therapy: A woman s sex drive depends on the influence of sex hormones, especially estrogen. Doctor may give small doses of estrogen to the woman patient by prescribing vaginal cream or any skin patch to increase blood flow to her private part, increasing its sensitivity.

3. Lifestyle Changes: A doctor can help you by advising certain lifestyle changes that are adversely impacting your sex life. The doctor is able to find out the activities or events in your daily life by interacting with you that are responsible for sexual aversion.
4872 people found this helpful

Happily Ever After - How Can You Actually Make It Work?

Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
Happily Ever After - How Can You Actually Make It Work?
Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding; and not binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on HOW you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticize and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn t! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don t happen your way but have you tried to express your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships result in frustrations, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is upto us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the progress in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not upto it . Receptivity is of utmost importance. A No from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don t want to do that right now! feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example - I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you re taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C s : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using I feel statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you re taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that ) & Gunnysacking (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in Summarizing self-syndrome where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other s perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on Catastrophizing i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
No sending double messages - statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
Our mind is like a parachute, it doesn t work unless it s open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner s perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to wellbeing as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth.

Marriage Counselling can be of huge benefit to any relationship, regardless of the nature or severity of your problems. Some of the major ways in which couples counselling can benefit your relationship is in the areas of:-

improved communication,
revitalizing your emotional connection and
re-negotiating your commitments.

Couples generally come to couples counselling when they realise that their relationship is in some kind of trouble. So, it is always good to visit a counsellor when you have problems.
4227 people found this helpful

Counselling - Why Is It Important In Case Of Vocational & Sexual Issues?

M.D Psychiatry , MBBS
Psychiatrist, Faridabad
Counselling - Why Is It Important In Case Of Vocational & Sexual Issues?
When a person is not able to identify a solution to a problem (professional or personal), the often heard suggestion is to get the advice of a counselor. What the counselor does is to give an objective view of the problem and see how they can be addressed. When any of us go through a difficult phase, it is difficult to disentangle ourselves from the problem, and see what can be done differently to manage it. Whether it is vocational or sexual, premarital or marital, it is a bit difficult as we are part of the problem. For a counselor, they can take an objective view as they are not as entangled in it. They can see clearly what the issue is and find a solution. Also, given their training and experience in handling different issues, they would have suggestions that will just do the trick.

Vocational counseling: Also called career counseling, this has gained significant importance recently. It helps identify if a person is good to be an entrepreneur or a marketing professional. With so much focus on people s career and it involving such a large part of a person s life, it is essential to understand how to approach a vocation and how to get the best out of it. This involves assessing the individual completely in terms of his skills, abilities, aptitude, interests and guiding on what could be a good career option for him. Detailed discussions along with questionnaires and tools will help identify the right career for a person, where he/she can shine. Supporting training and coaching are also provided.

Sexual counseling: People with complicated sexual issues are on the rise. Premarital counseling helps in aligning the couple as to what to expect from each other. Though it may sound a bit odd, it helps a lot of problems after marriage, and brings the couple together. Both know what to expect from each other and so the number of issues in post marriage are reduced. It also paves the way for a happier marriage, according to research.

For people who have sexual issues in post marriage, counseling again is a good solution. The couple is completely a part of the issue and often would not be able to find a solution, which could sometimes be to speak frank and open-mindedly . The counseling session provides this forum, and most issues like performance anxiety, sexual expectation mismatch, premature ejaculation and family planning that can be discussed here. While sex is often ignored as it is a discrete issue, discussing about it helps iron out a lot of issues and even improves the overall quality of the relationship, and makes way for a happy, married life.
4180 people found this helpful

4 Ways Counselling Post Marriage is Beneficial

Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
4 Ways Counselling Post Marriage is Beneficial
While marriage is one of the most sought after relationships, it also is a very tricky one. A high level of compatibility is felt when you meet that one person with whom you are ready to spend the rest of your life with; sparks do fly and you feel you have just found the right person for you.

However, over a period of time, things do change. What was once cute or romantic does not continue to appeal the same way after a while. Knowing a person completely is an ongoing process, and even after marriage, especially if you move into a joint family. Knowing the person before beginning to live with the whole bunch is very important, as this helps in improving the understanding and increases the much required emotional space.

Not just that, people also do change with time and a relationship has to move to the next level too. Issues arise when people do not realise that and continue to expect things to remain unchanged rosy and romantic forever. What is surprising is that taking a step back and looking at the relationship objectively can help salvage the relationship in a number of cases.

The following are some situations when post-marriage counselling can bevery helpful.
1. When silence reigns: When a couple who would spend hours on the phone chatting away resort to silence for a major part of their time spent together, it is time to revisit the relationship. Getting external help is one of the best ways to tackle this, as talking to a friend or a family member can help get some insight.

2. When the couple just coexists: After a while, there seems to be something lost between the two, with only the same physical space being the common factor. There is a clear lack of intimacy, which can be brought back by getting someone else to talk.

3. For the children s sake, let s stay together: Although children help in strengthening the bond of the couple, they should not be the only reason for a couple to stay together. For a child, staying with a single parent may be more beneficial than staying in a family where the couple is constantly fighting. Here again, external help may be useful.

4. When there is the other person: After the charm of marriage wears out, it is common for either of the couple to look for company outside the marriage. If an affair is being suspected, it is advisable to seek external help to clear the air and to save the relationship.
A marriage can easily be saved, the only thing required is a fresh pair of ears and eyes to hear and look at it from all perspectives.
4126 people found this helpful

How To Rebuild & Recover A Failing Marriage?

Diploma In Psychology Counselling Skills, Diploma in ayurveda, B.S IT
Psychologist, Bangalore
How To Rebuild & Recover A Failing Marriage?
Marriage is a God's gift and it s a journey that every individual need to go through with his own experience. There are no shortcuts!

A healthy marriage keeps couple and entire family members happy to full fill their dreams and desires. However due to different priorities, difference of opinions, personal egos and situation married life can go through ups and downs. There can be various reasons for strain in a married relationship, but its implications leave a strong emotional mark on the other partner, children, and family members for sure.

Let s look at the most common reasons behind such breakup in married relationship and what are the ways to rebuild and recover the relationship.

Common reasons for breakup among married couples:

Career priorities, expectation and running behind professional goals causes major drift among the working couple.

Work life imbalance is the root cause for stress and depression in both personal and professional life among married couple.

Addictions to Alcohol, Smoke, Drug is one of a key reason for most breakup today.

In-Laws, even with couples who live in different cities from their parents, remote-control-in laws seem to have a great say in their children s marriages.

Cultural differences, the way both partners were raised, their belief systems, religious/caste/rituals experience do cause trouble in relationships

Sexual incompatibility, the reason may be relatively new to the traditional norms set by our society, but in the past five years, sexual dissatisfaction has been the reason for more split-ups than ever before.

Financial Issues is a very crucial factor that can make or break a relationship.

Physical/Mental Abuse; it creates an unhealthy environment and damages the bond. It also affects the children and might disturb their mental state of seeing their parents fight like cats and dogs.

Extra-marital; Affair, accepting the fact that one s better half has cheated on him/her kills the person from inside.

Boredom; Things that attract you about a partner are the same things that you will hate about them in three years. Romance and love is bound to reduce after sometime due to lack of changes.

Misunderstanding or expectation gap, communications gaps are other common thing in a relation which leads to doubt, fights and increases distance among couples

Nobody ties a knot to break it, but situations can make the person to do that. There are many ways to patch up and reignite the relationship. It just needs a commitment and little egoless effort to explore the options and try as a self-help or by taking a professional help.

Get back to the fundamentals: Show the basic courtesy, respect, kindness, excuses to your partner that we commonly expect and share with friends or colleagues or others.

Stop taking one another for granted. Express gratitude to one another. Say Thank you . Appreciate it , Sorry from the heart.

Put your spouse s interests ahead of your own. Try to give more preference to your partner choice of place, things, activities, interests.

Put the relationship ahead of everything, including your religion, culture, in laws, friendship, career goals etc. All these factors can provide advice and opinion, but the decision should yours in favour for wellbeing of relationship. Do work life balance with more priority towards family.

Seek forgiveness and really forgive. Remember that we can t forget the past. More and more we try to forget the past, bad memories will keep registering strong into our conscious mind. Better to accept the mistake and forgive.

Blame the situation not the partner. In most case, it s the circumstance and situation that force people to behave differently than their core behaviour. Give the benefit of doubt to your loved one

Choose to love. There is no medicine better than love in handling emotional problem. Appreciate each other s love and affection.

Maintain a good sexual wellness at both body and mind level. Sex is a natural urge and holding or unsatisfied sex causes stress and depression among couple. In fact, it s a nature s gift to keep your bonding strong forever and a good stress reliever.

Surround yourselves with people in healthy relationships: Never ever take advice from people suffering from relationship issues to fix your problem

Start over from scratch to recover and patch up broken relationship. Nothing wrong to admitting faults and restarting the cycle

Change the patterns to avoid boredom. Keep an element of surprise in relation. Your partner should be the first one to be shared with any news. Frequently change the places/events of your togetherness to keep the element of constant change. Frequently change the words and text to express love

Step out of comfort zone together. Try something new and accept success and failure together.

Get marriage counselling help as sometime a neutral and unbiased view is important to understand each other better and clear the difference of opinion.

Also proactively take the couple therapies to learn the dynamic and undiscovered aspects of husband and wife relationship to keep the happiness ON for ever.

Enjoy a happy married life!
4102 people found this helpful

How To Arouse Adventure In Marriage?

MBBS, MD - Psychiatry
Psychiatrist, Bhavnagar
How To Arouse Adventure In Marriage?
Marriages in our country usually last a lifetime and require effort from both parties involved to make them work. Often, marriages end because of boredom, as the partners begin to believe that the spark is gone. But there are many ways couples can perk up their marriage.

While it is true that many people are short on precious time in today s day and age, what is also true is that a marriage is well worth some prioritisation.

Leaving dirty dishes in the sink for a little while longer does make good sense, if it means that the time is well-used to bond with one s significant other. Leisure time spent between couples is crucial for the success of a marriage. Many couples do not make it a habit of listening to each other and this really does work to their detriment. Paying close attention to what the other one says and providing a response may not need a lot of effort but the dividends are rich in the form of the partner feeling good.

Intimacy is a valued feeling of being wanted and it has a big part to play in the success of a marriage. Over the long term, many couples do not make the required effort and the overall quality of their bond is reduced, as a result. While reinitiating contact may be as simple as holding the other s hand, many people do not do this as they feel their partner should be the one to do so. Intimacy does not only equate to sexual intimacy, but can even simply be looking into one s partners eyes with love.

Laughter is said to be the best medicine, and this happens to be true in the case of a marriage, as well. It has been found that couples who laugh about their past experiences are happier and get along a lot more amicably than those who do not. Recalling together where the couple first met and started seeing each other also has a positive impact as it makes both partners feel valued and thankful about what they have.

Below, are tips that don t require much if any money, time or even hard work!

Engage in a new activity with your partner. Doing novel activities with your partner enables you to re-experience the original emotional state at the beginning of your marriage. In other words, trying something new sparks excitement, producing passion. You can do anything from deep-sea fishing to salsa dancing to hiking a mountain to eating at a different restaurant.
Add the element of mystery or surprise. Both mystery and surprise also mimic the emotional state of a new romance. But it doesn t mean whisking your wife away to the Mediterranean or surprising your husband with expensive dinners. Here, little gestures also go a long way. Examples include, surprising your wife at work and whisking her away for lunch, or sending a greeting card in the mail.
Do something that kicks up your adrenaline and arousal. Young marriages start out with an adrenaline rush. Your heart races, you get giddy, you re alert, awake and excited. Arousal-generating activities can include exercising, going on a vigorous hike, and even watching a scary movie. So it s almost like fooling your brain that the arousal produced to this scary movie (or any other arousing activity) is really due to your marriage, and this helps to perk up the passion.
Take a mini-vacation just the two of you. Get out of the house for at least one night and two days, somewhere that interests both of you and creates new memories together. You don t have to go far from home or spend a lot of money. The key is to spend quality time together away from home. Studies show that for women, in particular, getting away is important. They feel more passionate when they re away from the pressures of their lives. At home, women have a tough time compartmentalizing things. They re thinking about the laundry, lunch, paying the bills, cleaning the house, and checking things off their mental to-do list.
Touch more often. Touch produces arousal, comfort and support both physiologically and psychologically, and it doesn t have to be much of a touch. Holding hands on a walk, making sure you give a hug or kiss or embrace daily reminds you that you re physiologically bonded. When reigniting your relationship, the key is to shake things up consistently. Good luck!
4091 people found this helpful