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Top Health Tips on Improving Relationships

Infidelity: How to Overcome it

MBBS, MCCEE, Fellowship in Sexual Medicine
Sexologist, Jaipur
Infidelity: How to Overcome it
Over the years, Infidelity has surfaced as the single most common reason that has the ability to shatter and dismantle a perfectly happy relationship. Infidelity can occur in any and every form of relationship and in each of them it is deemed as unacceptable and uncalled for. Lack of affection has been generally identified as the primary cause why people stray. However there are other reasons too that cause infidelity. Some of them are:

Bad judgment
The person who is held responsible for going astray may actually be the victim of bad judgement and an impulsive decision. There may not be anything wrong with the marriage but momentary attraction and a rash decision are possible reasons that lead a person astray.

Search for an emotional connect
A lack of emotional connect with the partner can be a possible reason for infidelity. An unquenchable thirst for attention and the need to be flattered as well finding an emotional connect with a new person causes infidelity. Though the most common and devastating outcome of infidelity is the end of a relationship.

There are ways one that helps one to overcome infidelity. Some of them are as follows:


Ending the affair immediately
The first and foremost step that you must take in overcoming infidelity is to end the affair immediately. If your relationship is important to you, then it would require your complete investment both physically and emotionally. You must snap all contacts with the other person and concentrate on rebuilding your relationship with renewed faith and trust.
Open discussion
If you want the relationship to work then you must have a completely free and open discussion with your partner. Coming clean about your past affair is imperative if you want to begin anew. Your partner deserves a complete, honest discussion and you must do it delicately and with a lot of care.
Willingness to compromise
Beginning a relationship after confessing about the past relationships requires a lot of hard work and compromises. It will take a long time for the relationship to be what it was before the infidelity and you should take complete responsibility for it as well have a willingness to compromise on certain issues.
Marriage therapy
Apart from attempts to amend yourself, you can also use the help of a marriage therapist. A marriage counselor or a therapist through prolonged discussions and sound counsels can avert the possible ending of the relationship.
7749 people found this helpful

Infidelity - 4 Tips For You

PhD Human Genetics
Sexologist,
Infidelity - 4 Tips For You
Over the years, infidelity has surfaced as the single most common reason that has the ability to shatter and dismantle a perfectly happy relationship. Infidelity can occur in any and every form of relationship and in each of them it is deemed as unacceptable and uncalled for. And each of them leaves the persons with feelings of betrayal, anger and guilt. There are 101 reasons for infidelity even among the harmonious marriages - emotional disconnection from a partner is cited one of the most common causes. Feeling deprived of affection, appreciation, emotional support, feeling lonely and sad and the consequent feelings of anger and resentment all culminate into why people stray.

Bad judgment - But it could be as simple as impulsive decisions and acts too. The primary relationship (that is, the relationship with the spouse or long-term partner) maybe perfectly harmonious, yet in a momentary attraction and a rash decision a person may sow the seeds for infidelity.
Sexual dissatisfaction - Sexual dissatisfaction is stated as another important cause.
Search for an emotional connect - Many a time, it's also the urge for attention, to be flattered, and to be attracted by someone, causes infidelity.
Whatever the reasons for one to stray away, the act shatters the trust of the betrayed persons, and everything they believe to be true about the partner. People find themselves crying a lot, not being able to concentrate, being upset, and feeling depressed. The most common and devastating outcome of infidelity is the end of a relationship. However, emotions change over time. Once the initial shock is over, there are steps one might try before walking out of the relationship-

Ending the affair immediately - The first and foremost step that one must take in overcoming infidelity is to end the affair immediately. If your relationship is important to you, then it would require your complete investment both physically and emotionally. You must snap all contacts with the other person and concentrate on rebuilding your relationship with renewed faith and trust.
Open discussion - If you want the relationship to work then you must have a completely free and open discussion with your partner. Coming clean about your past affair is imperative if you want to begin anew. Your partner deserves a complete, honest discussion and you must do it delicately and with a lot of care.
Willingness to compromise - Beginning a relationship after confessing about the past relationships requires a lot of hard work and compromises. It will take a long time for the relationship to be nearly what it was before the infidelity and you should take complete responsibility for it, as well as have a willingness to compromise on certain issues.
Marriage therapy - Apart from attempts to amend yourself, you can also take the help of a marriage therapist. A marriage counselor or a therapist can, through a series of sessions of discussions and sound counsels, avert the possible ending of the relationship.
5034 people found this helpful

Lack Of Sexual Desire - How Can A Doctor Help?

Fellowship, Council of Sex Education & Parenthood, BAMS, B-Pharm
Sexologist, Jaipur
Lack Of Sexual Desire - How Can A Doctor Help?
Today, there is no disease that cannot be cured. Be it related to any part of the body, medications and doctors can come to your rescue immediately. Similarly, low sex drive is also curable. It is a medical condition, caused due to various factors and can be treated under the proper guidance of a doctor. The condition is known as Inhibited Sexual Desire (ISD). A person suffering from ISD exhibits only one symptom: low sexual desire. A person suffering from ISD refuses to engage in sexual activities with anyone. It has been observed that they neither start nor respond to anyone s sexual move or overtures. It is a common problem faced by the new age couples in the metro cities.

ISD can be of two different types: primary and secondary. If the patient has never developed sexual desire in his or her lifetime, the condition is primary. The secondary condition occurs when a person began a relationship with the opposite sex partner with normal drive but later gave up the interest towards sexual activities.

Sometimes, patients also develop situational ISD due to stress ad strains in a relationship. The patient may have sexual desire towards others and be disinterested with his or her partner. Whatever may be the condition, medical guidance by a trained and experienced doctor is a must. Here s how your doctor can help you in gaining back your interest in sexual activities:

1. Counseling: A doctor can treat ISD by counseling. It has been found that many couples first need marriage counselling to improve their relationship first. The training will help couples in learning how to express their love and affection towards each other and respect each other s emotions and feelings. The couples should also know how to vent their anger and resolve problems and differences in their conjugal life. The sexual counselling helps couple to learn how to carry out their sexual activities in an interesting manner. The doctor then may prescribe you (in case of males) some drugs to activate your sex life.

2. Hormone Therapy: A woman s sex drive depends on the influence of sex hormones, especially estrogen. Doctor may give small doses of estrogen to the woman patient by prescribing vaginal cream or any skin patch to increase blood flow to her private part, increasing its sensitivity.

3. Lifestyle Changes: A doctor can help you by advising certain lifestyle changes that are adversely impacting your sex life. The doctor is able to find out the activities or events in your daily life by interacting with you that are responsible for sexual aversion.
4871 people found this helpful

4 Ways Counselling Post Marriage is Beneficial

Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
4 Ways Counselling Post Marriage is Beneficial
While marriage is one of the most sought after relationships, it also is a very tricky one. A high level of compatibility is felt when you meet that one person with whom you are ready to spend the rest of your life with; sparks do fly and you feel you have just found the right person for you.

However, over a period of time, things do change. What was once cute or romantic does not continue to appeal the same way after a while. Knowing a person completely is an ongoing process, and even after marriage, especially if you move into a joint family. Knowing the person before beginning to live with the whole bunch is very important, as this helps in improving the understanding and increases the much required emotional space.

Not just that, people also do change with time and a relationship has to move to the next level too. Issues arise when people do not realise that and continue to expect things to remain unchanged rosy and romantic forever. What is surprising is that taking a step back and looking at the relationship objectively can help salvage the relationship in a number of cases.

The following are some situations when post-marriage counselling can bevery helpful.
1. When silence reigns: When a couple who would spend hours on the phone chatting away resort to silence for a major part of their time spent together, it is time to revisit the relationship. Getting external help is one of the best ways to tackle this, as talking to a friend or a family member can help get some insight.

2. When the couple just coexists: After a while, there seems to be something lost between the two, with only the same physical space being the common factor. There is a clear lack of intimacy, which can be brought back by getting someone else to talk.

3. For the children s sake, let s stay together: Although children help in strengthening the bond of the couple, they should not be the only reason for a couple to stay together. For a child, staying with a single parent may be more beneficial than staying in a family where the couple is constantly fighting. Here again, external help may be useful.

4. When there is the other person: After the charm of marriage wears out, it is common for either of the couple to look for company outside the marriage. If an affair is being suspected, it is advisable to seek external help to clear the air and to save the relationship.
A marriage can easily be saved, the only thing required is a fresh pair of ears and eyes to hear and look at it from all perspectives.
4123 people found this helpful

How Relationship Counsellor Can Help You?

Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Jammu
How Relationship Counsellor Can Help You?
Marriage is perhaps the most important relation in an adult s life. That s why it needs extra care and attention, especially when things are not exactly gung ho. This is where marriage or marital therapy comes in.

Marriage counseling is the process of counseling the married couple to recognize and to reconcile or at least manage differences and repeating patterns of stress upon the marital relationship.

Basic practices of marital therapy

The basic practices of marital therapy focus primarily on the process of communicating. Counselors use a method called active listening.
Another method used is called Cinematic immersion . Both these methods have one important thing in common- they help counselors create a safe environment where each partner can express feelings and hear the feelings of the other.
Emotionally focused therapy for couples or EFT-C is also used. This is based on attachment theory and uses emotion as an agent of change and target, both.
Behavioral couples therapy is another method used. It is actually a proven way out of marital discord. This method focuses on integrating the twin goals of acceptance and change for couples in therapy.
The successful couples usually make concrete changes to accommodate the needs of the partner and also show greater emotional acceptance of the other.

Role of the relationship counselor
A couple therapist is usually someone with a degree in psychiatry or counseling. And her primary role is to listen, understand and facilitate better communication between the couple. The counselor also:

Provides a confidential tete-a tete, which normalizes feelings
Enables each partner to be heard and to hear themselves
Works as a mirror to reflect the marriage s difficulties to the partners
Outlines the potential and direction for change
Delivers important information
Improves communication
Identifies the repetitive, negative interaction cycle that drives a problematic marriage as a pattern
Understands the source of emotions behind that negative pattern
Re-organizes these key emotional responses to offset the pattern
Creates new patterns of interaction
Increases emotional attachment between partners
When should you seek marital therapy?

When you avoid communicating or your communication has become negative- This usually means bad language, verbal abuse, and sometimes physical abuse.
When you or your partner have sought out other sexual partners Marital therapy can save a marriage after an affair if both partners want and work out the kinks in their relationship.
Lack of intimacy in the marriage- This is the stage when partners just occupy the same space without communication, or exchange of feelings or touch.
Marriage counseling is a long process. And another thing to remember is that it can t save a marriage that is unsalvageable. So, go in for marital therapy with an aim to do what s the best for you and your partner.
4076 people found this helpful

Ayurveda and Couple Counselling

Bachelor of Ayurveda, Medicine and Surgery (BAMS)
Ayurveda, Zirakpur
Ayurveda and Couple Counselling
Holistic sciences are taking centre stage once again, after their decline in the past centuries since the advent of contemporary medicine. Ayurveda is one such area that helps in reaching and curing the root cause of the ailment that a person may be facing. Couples facing problems or relationships problems are one such area that is also a part of this ancient indian life science. Let us find out more about ayurvedic couple counselling.

Transformation: ayurveda seeks to reach the root cause of a problem and transform the life of the patient by dealing with the said problem. For couples, one of the most basic problems is that of stagnation. With the help of the transformation function, ayurveda helps the two partners in finding a basis for dealing with the old by bringing in the new. In this kind of counselling, couples are usually asked to find something new in each other and things that they can do together to break from the same old routine. This creates a sense of excitement and makes for shared experiences.

Meditation: in ayurveda, the couple undergoing counselling is usually asked to practice meditation together. This helps in grounding the couple as one unit as they breathe in and out together and get initiated through the path of meditation. With this, a union of the mind, the body and spirit can be possible on several levels where the couple can understand, guide and evolve with each other. When meditation is practiced by the couple together, it is a deeply connecting ritual that also builds intimacy on a whole other level of commitment and togetherness.

Intuition: all people go through change. When we marry, we are young and we subsequently grow old and older with each other. The objective is to grow old together rather than changing to a degree where one partner does not understand or relate with the other. So, as per ayurveda, it is difficult to align with each other using a sense of intuition that will help in nurturing each other through change, rather than growing apart. This sense of intuition will also bring about better adaptability and adjustment.

Flow of energy: the main energy between couple is emotion, which can be regulated with chakra healing. The play of emotions between two people is what binds together. But this where the subtle balance has to come about so that one does not get overwhelmed with the other. With the help of couples counselling in ayurveda, the couple will be taught to channel the flow of energy in a positive way to manifest in understanding, good sexual relations, and harmony in cohabitation.

Some unique herbal combos, absolutely safe, are decided by ayurveda doctor on the basis of feedback, if required. Being open with each other is the key to being happy with couple counselling in ayurveda.
3901 people found this helpful

Get The Right Kind of Help Before Marriage

BDS, Certification In Hypnotherapy, Certification In N.L.P, Certification In Gene & Behavior, Psychology At Work
Psychologist, Delhi
Get The Right Kind of Help Before Marriage
We as individuals are unique and blessed with independent thoughts and intellect, which help us in making decisions in life. One of the biggest decisions in life that we have to make is choosing a life partner. We may have to go through several proposals and meet lots of people before we are able to make this crucial choice and select an ideal partner to spend the rest of your life with. Many times, such decisions are made sooner and at sometimes we may have to seek the opinion of our friends, relatives and well-wishers to be able to find the perfect match.

In all cases, what really matters is that the relationship that we have build has to be strong enough to last a lifetime and that if there is any problem between the couple, they should be able to resolve it amicably, with understanding and maturity. In order to forge relationships that can last, the beginning of the association has to be crucial. There are a number of ways in which you can ensure that the beginning is smooth and that the rest of your lives are also spent in happiness.

The importance of counselling
In the modern times, when couples expect a lot more than couples of the olden times, it becomes extremely important to make sure that the couplevisits a marriage counsellor in time and is given an opportunity to get to know each other in a better manner. Here are a few ways in which counselling may be a boon for newly acquainted couples who are to get married.

The counselling may help them realise their similarities and also understand what their strong points as a couple
The session of understanding each other may also aid in knowing what they expect from each other in the long term rather than finding out the difficult way.
It may also help in understanding the importance of amicable family relationships and how close and extended families help in the making of long and strong relationships.
The pre-marriage counselling provided to couples also ensures that they are able to get a healthy and transparent forum to be able to know each other and understand what they can expect from life if they are together.

Getting the right kind of help
Although parents and elders usually advise the couple before they get married, it is important to make sure that formal counselling is also received from an expert in the field of psychology. When you choose to go to a worthy and trusted expert, you are able to ensure that the best methods of opening up to each other are used and that the session remains fruitful for the couple as well as their families in the long term.
3728 people found this helpful

Counselling: When And Why Should You Go For It?

M.A Clinical Psychology, Integrated Clinical Hypnotherapy, Post Graduate Diploma in Child Guidance
Psychologist, Navi Mumbai
Play video
Counselling is helping a person to shift from his emotions to his thinking wherein that person is given empowerment to generate multiple solutions to problems faced. Its important to understand what counselling is all about and what benefits does it have on patients. Its not about giving advise - here a person is helped to understand himself and the other person and work on solutions.
3624 people found this helpful

Marriage Relationship - How To Manage Your Relationship/Marriage?

Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
Marriage Relationship - How To Manage Your Relationship/Marriage?
Every married couple undergoes relationship troubles, but these troubles should not linger for a long time otherwise you might end up facing dreadful consequences. If you want to save your married life by maintaining a smooth relation with your partner, then you have to look for the best solutions that can resolve marital issues.

How to manage marital relationships?

Maintaining Trust: Since trust is the base of every relationship, therefore you should make special effort in maintaining the same. Unresolved issues should be resolved quickly and there should be transparent communication between the married couples. Some of the special qualities that should be maintained in order to maintain trust within a marital relationship in long run are being on time, consistency, being sensitive towards feelings, avoiding lies, sharing feelings, respecting partner's feelings, avoiding jealousy and others.
Healthy Communication: If the problems remain unresolved, then more and more conflicts will be invited. Have open discussions and clear up your points so that confusions can be eliminated. If you make efforts in understanding the real causes, then only the problems can be resolved. You need to put yourself in the shoes of the partner and understand where the person is coming from. Most conflicts occur because we only see our view points and not that of others.
Giving time to the relationship: You can maintain your marital relationship in a healthy state only by considering the married life as the prior issue. Keep your marriage above every other social thing and then only relationship can be made secured. Give time for repairing all dubs and defects of your relationship. In this case, you can also take the help of any expert marriage counselor. Spend some quality time with each other so that the warmth of your relationship can be maintained.
Tackling monetary problems: Do not allow any conflict to come into your relationship just because of a pathetic financial condition. It is important for both the partners to put-in efforts in saving money so that monthly expenses can be kept under strict control. A perfect budget needs to be scheduled so that financial strength can be restored. If you are incapable of catering financial support, support your partner at least mentally so that he can come out of the financial trouble as soon as possible.
Maintain a Happy Sexual Life: Create a proper schedule for lovemaking in order to maintain a healthy sex life. You should try to know the sexual needs of your partner so that you can fulfil the expectations.
Why is it important to go to Marriage Counseling?

The couple has decided to try to improve their relationship, but neither of the two know, how, and where to start. A marriage counselor can help analyze behavior patterns in certain situations that lead to conflict. Once the behavior patterns are identified, they can be modified.

Marriage counselors can help create a more accurate picture of who the partner really is, rather than whom we want him or her to be, and this can help settle misunderstandings and miscommunication. If you know your partners desires and motivations, it is much easier to find common ground.

Knowing your partners desires also enables you to respect and value them and in some cases new common interests can be found. To know your own motivations and background emotions can also lead to better decision making in situations of conflict. Hidden agendas can be combated, when they are in the open and no longer hidden. In situations that involve depression, or alcohol or substance abuse, visiting a marriage counselor can strengthen the healthy partner and might lead the other partner to seek individual treatment for their disease. A marriage counselor can help find the reasons that are behind dishonest behavior like cheating.
3491 people found this helpful

Infidelity - 6 Things That May Cause It

PhD SEXUAL MEDICINE, DGO, MBBS
Sexologist, Ahmedabad
Infidelity - 6 Things That May Cause It
Over the years, infidelity has surfaced as the single most common reason that has the ability to shatter and dismantle a perfectly happy relationship. Infidelity can occur in any and every form of relationship and in each of them, it is deemed as unacceptable and uncalled for. Lack of affection has generally been identified as the primary cause why people stray.

However, there are other reasons too that cause infidelity. Some of them are:

Bad judgment: The person who is held responsible for going astray may actually be the victim of bad judgement and an impulsive decision. There may not be anything wrong with the marriage, but momentary attraction and a rash decision are possible reasons that lead a person astray.
Search for an emotional connect: The lack of emotional connect with the partner can be a possible reason for infidelity. An unquenchable thirst for attention and the need to be flattered as well as finding an emotional connect with a new person causes infidelity. Though the most common and devastating outcome of infidelity is the end of a relationship, there are ways, which helps one to overcome infidelity.
Ending the affair immediately: The first and foremost step that you must take in overcoming infidelity is to end the affair immediately. If your relationship is important to you, then it would require your complete investment both physically and emotionally. You must snap all contacts with the other person and concentrate on rebuilding your relationship with renewed faith and trust.
Open discussion: If you want your relationship to work then you must have a completely free and open discussion with your partner. Coming clean about your past affair is imperative if you want to begin anew. Your partner deserves a complete, honest discussion and you must do it delicately and with a lot of care.
Willingness to compromise: Beginning a relationship after confessing about the past relationships requires a lot of hard work and compromises. It will take a long time for the relationship to be what it was before the infidelity and you should take complete responsibility for it as well have a willingness to compromise on certain issues.
Marriage therapy: Apart from the attempt to amend yourself, you can also use the help of a marriage therapist. A marriage counselor or a therapist, through prolonged discussions and sound counselling can avert the possible ending of the relationship.
3409 people found this helpful