My boyfriend got married to someone else and he is very happy with his married life now. He made so many promises to me saying that he won't change anytime but I feel he has changed a lot and he not at all concerned about me. I feel very depressed and burst into tears and I am suffering with the feeling that I lost everything and he has forgotten everything. I am trying my best to come out of that feeling but I am unable to do so. My mood will change suddenly and my eyes get filled with tears. I am feeling hopeless. Please suggest me what should I do? I love him a lot I am unable to forget him even though he got married to someone else.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist47yrs exp

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This is the reality and you have to learn to accept it and move on. I know it is difficult to have lived under such assurance and then to be suddenly turned down for another. While there is a lot of grief you must be very, very angry. I do not hear that anywhere in your statement! why are you not angry for someone who has let you down so badly and deceptively? he is happy but you are miserable. You must deal with all the emotions which you will feel quite legitimately. Then you must accept the fact that he is completely gone out of your life, and your spending any time pining, moping or brooding for him will make your life more miserable. In a relation that was not genuine, hearts will be broken. You need to pick up the pieces and reform yourself and as quickly as possible return to your true self and not wallow in your hurt self. Meet with a counselor and talk about all your feelings without restraint. He does not deserve any attention and you may consider him realistically dead to you. You have far greater value if you respect yourself and move on. Remove all reminders of him and do not go to any places, situations, occasions, and companions associated with him. You deserve better. As you talk about these feelings you will get him out of your system soon and will realize some day that he does not deserve you. There could be someone better waiting for you out there. Prepare yourself for that person. The advantage is that you are still young. The memory of him will still linger but with time the emotional association will die down completely. 

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