I am 20 years old female and I am not able to understand what is happening to me. Its been 2 years I feel the same way. I don't feel alive. I don't feel like I am doing anything. I stay alone in hostel. I suddenly feel very happy suddenly feel I cry my heart out. I don't want to live and the reason is this because I am not able to understand what is wrong with me. I am in present moment but I can't feel it. My studies everything is affected I can't say my parents because they won't understand. I feel like killing myself I don't want to live. How to get out of thus. why don't I feel alive as others do? Am I in depression or what is it. But there is no reason to get depressed. But what it is making me to kill myself what should I do?