I am in a very poor mental condition. My results of class 12 final exams are bad and I have failed to keep up to the expectations of my parents and teachers. I blame myself for this. No one else is to blame. My family life is bit complicated. My mother single handedly bought me up. I was a topper of my school. But then suddenly I suffered some depression in class 10 but recovered after that. But my entire class 11 and 12 studies were very poor as I was distracted all the time. I am addicted to smartphone for I have no friends. I have not visited any place since 2010. It is not possible for us to travel. It is better if I do not talk about my father. He have beaten me and harassed me since childhood. I and my mother do not have money so are dependent on my father. Only for money. Apart from that we have no relation with my father. I cannot concentrate on anything. I always feel like crying. I think sooner or later I have to give up. I cannot take this embarrassment any longer. I cannot find any meaning in life. The last few days have been a living death for me. I am writing this out of utter helplessness.