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Hello, I have a problem that I will never understand. The main thing is 1.I'm not able to talk to any one ,i'm not moving freely, 2.i don't have clarity what i'm doing i'm confused in every thing. I don't know what my future will be. I don't have any clarity of my life, and present situation. 3.i'm unstable my thoughts are unstable. Added to that I have depressed ,i don't have confidence ,no self esteem. I konw i'm doing terribly wrong and choose wrong path I can't come out of it. I'm just telling lies to all about my behaviour and just fooling my self. I'm now in a situation that i'm just doing my self destruction. I'm studying b.tech 2nd year. I'm a mid ranger got 96% upto inter and got 87%in 1st year .normally from beginning i'm not like others. I'm totally different. My main problem started at my beginning of my b.tech.i have bitter experiences till inter so I don't wanted to repeat them. I thought that just be silent and just study.(in inter I was in top batch but I didn't study at that time I always managed to be there .i have talent to be there but I did not struggle to get good marks, I just copied in exams, found ways to pretend as topper. All came to know me and started to harrasme. My friends also put me aside ,that amde me depressed I tried to study from then but not completely, so I got les percentage. I don't want to get less percentage in b.tech so thought to study willing b.tech and make some good friends. Well after joining I didn't make any friends. From 1st day onwards started studying.in hostel and in class. I made one friend. Some days passed. Then I woke up that i'm doing wrong. So I thought to change, but I want to change in a correct manner I thought that could imagine how I could be from beginning by talking to every one and making friends. I don't know that is impossible we can't imagine things like that. Some how I managed to created a own wold like that but I talked to room mates they sounded different not just in like what I created .there I thought I did not create well so they are acting different, I again tried to create this continued, I did not study, in classes I was thinking the same that I had a problem I want to change so I have to think I didn't make friends I was like different from world, all got friends. But I did not well I have some friends of my school, inter I didn't spoke to them if I did they come to know me that i'm a fool. Days passed I lost control, i'm confused then I started talking to a girl, I only talked with her all thought I loved her so i'm talking with her. I did not enclose my problem with her .she liked me.(except my confusion, I was a very good person I give value to friends, help them, take care of them. She too don't have good friends. Upto that all talked tried to talk with me tried to make friendship with me. But almost rejected total as they come to know i'm fool. As I talked only with her all saw me different manner, no one came to talk to me as before, well I have a school friend in my class I didn't speak to him because I have that stupid thought to change, create a correct imaginary world, and then talk to all. He thought I hated him as rejected talk. This continued conditions became worse. I behaved like a phyco with the girl. She said that I am behaving like a phyco. I told her that after inter I studied some psychological books, so that disturbed my consciousness, i'm unstable. She believed. I stopped talking to her that rumors spread like we were in relation. She understood. But after some days we talked again. This is how things are going .on the other side I pretended like topper. Any situation I faced made me think that I done wrong at beginning so started accepting that. This is how I completed my first year.in summer vacation I did not analyse my problem, I did not told to any one. Now i'm in condition that I completely lost myself ,i'm came to know i'm just fooling me. Help me to get out of this.(in always wanted to have friends and i'm the leader among them, I want to be special among all,


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