I have developed a strange habit. 12 Years ago I used to hold pen in one way. Someone told me your pen holding style is not good and is unusual. Then I started to copy others pen holding styled. It has become difficult for me to hold pen and write since that incident .I get headache while writing and head feels heavy almost all the time. I keep thinking this matter almost all time as I am a student and have to write. At present I am 26 years old. I feel frustrated why I am worrying about small and nonsense matter, but this thought doesn't go away from mind. I keep on writing most of the time .psychiatrist diagnosed me with depression and at taking antidepressants since 4 years ago. They are improving my symptoms but I want to get complete rid of problem. Am I suffering from only depression or any specific mental disorder for which I have to take alternative treatment besides antidepressants ?please suggest me kindly.

Dr. Psychological Counselor Pushpa SinhaPsychologist17yrs exp

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Hi Librate user Do you know each and every individual has a different personality, different habits ,different characteristics. So, pl hold your pen according to your convenient. Don't be so much anxious about it. Being depressed can make you feel helpless but there's a lot you can do yourself. Try to set a daily schedule and follow it. Try to eat healthy, sleep well. You are a student concentrate on your studies .try to do some outdoor activities, and enjoye your life. Thanks. 

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Dr. Senthilkumar As AsPsychiatrist2yrs exp

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You are having repeated unwanted thoughts about things like holding a pen in a particular position etc. Look out for similar unadjustable habits which you are compelled to do or think, repeatedly and uselessly. This is classical OCD obsessive compulsive disorder, and upset or lowmood or depressive thoughts are secondary to inability to control the original repetitive thoughts/actions (like pen holding, repeated washing, checking behaviour ettc). Kindly consult a psychiatrist privately as you also need appropriate drugs and psychotherapy for subconscious distressing conflicts like your personal insufficiencies/ guilt/lost loved ones/unattainable "but can't be given up" ambitions/desires (childish or even sexual). Low self esteem and self-blaming and self-punishing attitudes if any also need to be counselled with appropriate behavior modification. 

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