I always feel a lonely even though my friends are near me and I feel very depressed after an incident in school actually I was in a boarding school where people defamed me and no one use to talk to me because I use to study and then I was left all alone and then after that I could no more actually laugh and live the way I use to! So now I need a solution to get back to who I was! please help me!

Ms. Hemal Sanjay KuntePsychologist5yrs exp

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I see that you had to go through difficult times during your boarding school days. Since you were ill treated by your friends you probably have lost faith in people. It has affected your self esteem as well. You are probably feeling worthless. Hence you do not find any joy in life and feel lonely and sad. I also sense that you are ashmed of yourself. I feel very sorry to see what all this has done to you. But please remember, that you are unique. Whatever has happened in your boarding school, it's over now. If it was your mistake, please understand that we all are human beings and we all make mistakes. So forgive yourself and try not to repeat the mistake. If it was not your mistake and if still you were defamed, then have faith in yourself and don't allow others' negativity affect your soul. Because, you know your own self but others may not be able to recognise your true personality. Tell yourself that you do not need anyone's certificate. If you think that you need to improve upon certain personal skills, try to learn some new life skills. Try to be true to your own self and to others. Try to make new friends, understand the goodness in each person you meet, compliment people if you like something about them, keep company of people with positive attitude. If possible seek support from your family - talk to them. Once you gain back your self confidence, and once you start making friends, you will start laughing and start enjoying life again. Take care. 

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