I am 28 year old women. I feel highly stressed because of my relationship. I have a boy friend who I wish to marry. He is 4 years younger to me. For the last 3.5 years we were working together and everything was going fine between us but now he started working in an MNC at a very low salary. He was always looking for space away from as I am dominating. I always doubt me because whenever we go out I always catch him looking at women and then we fight. Since he started working I doubt he might find some other girl girl and will ditch me for her. I asked him not to join the job he is currently working in as I am afraid to loose him but his family wanted to do this job as his brother in law referred him on this position, his family was afraid that if he will not join then his brother in law would never help him again finding a job for him. Since he started working I haven't spoken to him because I am furious. I am unable to sleep and I don't know what to do. I think I am going to into depression. Please help.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist47yrs exp

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I think that you are the problem in this relationship with regard to how it is going, which is not good by the sound of it. Perhaps you being older makes you want to dominate like a mother: this may eventually lead to smothering and he may seek to move away from you. You may also tend to do this because of your own insecurities, especially the fear of his ditching you. If he looks at other girls, that is not a crime or any indication of his infidelity. You are so dominating that you wanted him to stay on with the job with you because of your fear of losing him! You need to show more maturity and let him choose his jobs and make his decisions unless you know of good reasons that they were bad for him: not because they could bad for you. You cannot force him into this relationship, if he does not want it. So let him be, and if he does not come back to you, then you know he did not love you and you must accept that however difficult it is for you. The reasons could be many but it is not worth studying unless you want to learn something for your future. Part of the problem could be the age difference, where ideally he should have been older than you. If he is meant for you anyway, he will come back. But don?t wait for too long and before you get into another relationship, do some work on your insecurities. I don't understand why you are taking Betaloc. If it is for a heart problem, then it is of great concern that you have that at this age. Your insecurities may be rather stressful. 

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