I am 23 years male and I am feeling depression and anxiety I always feel some strange fear in me all the time surrounded by me which makes let me feel terrible, I want to add something year (s) back I wasn't like this no fear at all, all the time full of confidence now its different scenario for me. But the main issue since my childhood was, that when ever I used to talk someone I never used to pay attention and immediately ask the people I talk, what you said repeat, why am I like this? Always it used to make me feel I have to put some extra effort on my brain to hear and understand what they saying a bit laziness maybe and my mind always be like somewhere else and well this was something since child problem and now new problem which arising is I am very much feeling nervous when I respond to new people I reply in slow manner which they notice and think why am I replying like this? and my attention level is very low I am unable to focus what ever is said in my job for my training am afraid of such complications and memory weakness forgetting a lot and many more please help me I am very much worried.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist47yrs exp

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You are probably distracted by a lot of fantasizing that may have many influences. One is that you may be troubled about something that you may not have been aware about. Talk to your parents and see if they know of anything that might have contributed to some stress during your developmental years. The stress has already had an impact in you through the depression and the BP at such an early age. It is also possible that you have a short attention span because you could be very intelligent and the things around you are not stimulating enough to grab your attention adequately. Then the mind tends to wander and pay less attention to what people are saying. It could also be a defense against responding to people where you can justify yourself by not paying attention enough to give proper responses. In all this I have a serious suspicion that you may be very sensitive to rejection: that is, you are so afraid of people not liking you and therefore rejecting you, and that you would want to do everything possible to avoid it but will inadvertently set it up. This may happen because at some point in your life you may have experienced traumatic rejection and that has impressed itself so strongly in you that without your awareness you will be extra-careful to avoid it but yet set it up. If any or all of this is true you must meet with a counselor and sort these matters out. Your parents? help must be solicited to give a lot of input about your past but to also be the support you will need to sort it out. To deal with the rejection you must learn to accept yourself i.e. to love yourself unconditionally. Discuss this with your counselor and you will come through with flying colors. Don?t play any ?blame game? but focus on the fact that a likely problem has been identified and there are solutions to resolve the same. 

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