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Masturbation is very common and most people indulge in it at some stage or the other in their lives. With online content becoming the main research material, there are lots of myths about masturbation in both men and women. Read on to know some of the common myths and facts about this in males and females.
Myth vs. Fact #1: The common myth is that men who masturbate regularly will have erectile dysfunction. The reality is that the body gets used to certain types of touch, like your own hand or vibrations, and therefore achieving pleasure with a partner may require slight practice and time. It, however, does not cause erectile dysfunction per se. It is a common belief that people who masturbate are sexually exhausted and would not be able to perform when actually with a partner. This is not true, for as long as the person is stimulated and desires sex, they can indulge in it with no cap on the number of instances that a person can be involved in the act.
Myth vs. Fact #2: Indulging in masturbation is an abnormal part of sexual growth. Though most would not admit it, there are anonymous studies which reveal a large number of people (about 70% of the boys and 60% of the girls) in the age group of 15 to 18 indulge in masturbation. This indicates that it is a very normal part of growing up. Children should be educated that it is normal to touch and explore the genitals, but should know the limitations.
Myth vs. Fact #3: People in relationships do not masturbate. Whether single or in a relationship, people masturbate, and this does not mean they are unhappy in their relationships. Depending on the levels of sexual desire and stimulation, some would indulge in masturbation despite being in a healthy relationship with a partner. Some people could indulge in the act together, which also has benefits like avoiding pregnancy.
Myth vs. Fact #4: Masturbation has no good effects. Just as sex acts as a good stress buster, masturbation does too. The good health benefits of masturbation include better sleep, reduced levels of stress and tension, improved concentration, reduced headaches, increased self-esteem, and an overall happy being. In women, this also helps improve vaginal dryness, which is a major cause of painful vaginal sex.
Myth vs. Fact #5: Masturbation has emotional side effects. Over indulgence surely can affect work, school, or social life, but it is not true for everybody. If that is the case, the person requires counselling. Else, it is a part of normal growing up and does not cause any physical or mental problems.
Maintaining a healthy relation with your partner in bed is of utmost importance for your relationship, but it should also kept in mind that it is not the only factor which is important. Your sex life is one of the keys to a successful relationship. With the advent of time, your sexual relationship with your partner may start to fade and seem uninteresting.
Here are 5 tips following which you can maintain a passionate sex life:
- Maintain overall intimacy: Regular good sex is important as it helps you to forget your daily hustle and bustle and end up in a different kind of world. Sexual intimacy is a key factor in living up your relationship. However, you should keep in mind that intimacy is not just confined to the bedroom. To maintain your spark, you must be intimate in other aspects of life as well with your partner. Preparing a meal together, dancing together, going for vacations enable to maintain intimacy in other sections instead of just the sex.
- Communicate: Tell your partner about your sexual preferences. Mention what you like and what is not suitable for you. Getting comfortable with each other is the most vital aspect in maintaining continued passion in your sex life. If you are not totally at ease with your partner, you may never find yourself experimenting or trying new moves in bed. Moreover, your partner is your counterpart and your most trusted companion. Communication at the level of friendship is also very important.
- Make efforts and moves: For people who are very busy and have got no time for their partners, a change in mentality is required. Instead of giving up on your sex life because of lack of time, make a move to find time and solve the problem. Taking time off will also relax your mind on account of which you can enjoy the sex better. Little things like dinner together, a shower together can be great boosters. So never ignore them. All you need is give some effort.
- Maintain a playful relationship: Always maintain a playful nature with your partner. Instead of pertaining to the bed, spice up your sex by choosing different locations. Indulging in sex on your rooftop under a full moon, or buying innovative, naughty sex toys allows you to gel better with your partner. Sex is enjoyed more when accompanied with laughter and fun.
- Be unpredictable: An ever static, same old routine dampens your sex life. Making unpredictable moves, which have got something new in them as these add new life to your sexual relationship. Try the funniest and most charming moves to surprise your partner. This ensures everlasting freshness.
Your sex life is an important part of your relationship and you should try your best to maintain the passion throughout.
What causes orgasmic disorders?
Orgasms are intensely pleasurable feelings of release caused by sexual excitement and stimulation. Difficulty in achieving orgasm can lead to dissatisfaction and problems in relationships. Orgasmic disorder or dysfunction, sometimes known as anorgasmia, inhibits one's ability to orgasm during sexual intercourse or other sexual activities. Both men and women can suffer from anorgasmia though it is more prevalent in women.
The three types of orgasmic disorders
1. Primary anorgasmia is when you've never had an orgasm
2. Secondary anorgasmia is when you suddenly have difficulty reaching orgasm, even though you've had one earlier.
3. General anorgasmia refers to the condition where you can't orgasm in any situation even with adequate sexual stimulation.
The causes of this disorder can be different for both the sexes. Here are the causes of anorgasmia in men and women:
Causes in women
Female anorgasmia can be caused due to physical or psychological factors or a combination of both. Psychological factors include anxiety about sex, stress, depression, self-esteem issues, fear of losing control in front of your partner, inadequate stimulation and relationship problems. Medical conditions such as diabetes, chronic pelvic pain and injuries to the spine or hormonal disorders and changes are physical factors that may cause anorgasmia.
Causes in men
Male anorgasmia also stems from psychological and physical issues. Medical problems such as diabetic neuropathy, genital surgery, pelvic trauma, spinal cord injuries, thyroid disorders and low testosterone levels can be the reasons for anorgasmia. Depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, stress and relationship issues also affect men just like in women and can be the cause of orgasmic disorder in men.
Other common causes
Those with a history of sexual trauma may particularly suffer from anorgasmia. Cultural and societal beliefs and lack of a safe environment also affect both men and women. Use of antidepressants and other medications have also been seen as a cause of orgasmic disorder in both the sexes. Fear of getting pregnant or getting your partner pregnant may inhibit a sexual response and cause anorgasmia. Substance abuse and alcoholism is a factor affecting both sexes and can lead to orgasmic disorder. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.
There are a lot of misleading information going around, especially online. So all that you read online, may not be correct. Sex is a topic that has been much hushed about, thus leading to the birth of many baseless rumours and embarrassing myths. Don’t believe in every single detail you come across online, they have got their own glitches. But hey! You do need to know the truth about it all, and this article tries to do just that.
Here are a few embarrassing myths and facts about sex which you may come across:
1. Myth: You do not get pregnant the first time you have sex
Fact: You can get pregnant anytime after you have penetrative sex. There is no such stipulated count or time as to when you get pregnant. The moment you have penetrative sex, certainly without any protective measure, the chance of pregnancy goes up.
2. Myth: Men think and want more of it as compared to women.
Fact: This is not true. The desire for intimacy and sex varies among individuals, irrespective of the gender.
3. Myth: Having sex in a pool drastically reduces the chances of contracting any STD.
Fact: Generally, maximum STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) are contracted by coming in sexual contact or through unprotected sexual intercourse. Having sex in a pool with a person already infected with any STD will automatically up your chance of contracting the STD as well. Water cannot prevent the transmission of any STD.
4. Myth: Douching after indulging in sexual intercourse can prevent a pregnancy.
Fact: Douching is definitely not a method to prevent pregnancy. And it’s about time this myth gets busted. Douching with soda, water or any other fluid can only guarantee infections in the genitals and nothing more. This is because douching disrupts the natural balance of the vaginal bacteria, thus also disturbing the pH balance of the vagina. The only way you can prevent a pregnancy is by using protection or taking birth control pills if you’ve had unprotected sexual intercourse.
5. Myth: It isn’t possible to contract STDs if you just have oral sex.
Fact: While it is true that maximum STDs are spread through unprotected vaginal intercourse, there are certain STDs, the transmission of which might not be only dependant on vaginal penetration. STDs such as HPV, Herpes and Syphilis can spread even if you just have unprotected oral sex. So, even if it is oral sex that you want to enjoy, do not give the protection a miss. Dental dams are always available at your disposal; using which might curb risks of such STDs. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.
It is popular belief that men are more easily aroused erotically as compared to women. However, truth is the reduced sexual arousal, or loss of libido, as it is called in medical circles, is very common. For most people, given the private nature of the topic, it is not openly discussed. Often, the only source of cures comes from reading books and online content. For some, a few close confidants may be aware of the problem. This again builds stress and becomes a major contributor to loss of libido. The best way to break this vicious cycle is to begin by admitting the problem and seeking professional help to overcome it.
There are physiologic and psychologic causes for reduced libido. The most common physiologic problem is low testosterone levels. This can be managed through lifestyle changes including exposure to sun, diet modifications, workouts and stress management. Read on for more details.
Diet: A heart-healthy diet is healthy for sexual life too. A diet loaded with nutrients including fresh fruits and vegetables, fish oils, omega-3 fatty acids, nuts and seeds, etc., will definitely contribute to a healthy sex life too. Avoid processed, canned and packaged foods. Ensure the diet is packed with good amounts of cholesterol, vitamins (A and E in particular), and minerals (zinc and selenium) as these are required for the production of testosterone and thereby, enhancing sexual life.
Smoking: Another major reason for reduced libido (and even impotence) is smoking. Those who have reduced or quit smoking can vouch for connection between sex life and smoking.
Alcohol: While it is popular belief that alcohol allows for a great sexual experience, the truth is far from it. Though alcohol helps shed initial inhibitions, it reduces performance. Therefore, excessive alcohol should be avoided.
Exercise: A healthy heart directly translates to an active sexual life. Any vigorous activity for 30 to 45 minutes (running, jogging, swimming, or cycling) which pumps up the heart works wonders for the sexual life too.
Sun Exposure: Vitamin D is essential for the optional production of testosterone and effective functioning of the male reproductive system. If you can get about 15 minutes of sun a day, great! Else, try vitamin D supplements and see the difference.
Stress Management: One of the major reasons for reduced arousal is stress. When you are stressed about something or the other, the chances that you enjoy a good sex life are very less. Beat the stress and see the change.
Invest in the Relationship: Your partner and you should take some quality time out and invest in building a long-lasting, trustworthy, healthy relationship which will naturally lead to a great sexual life. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.
Though the act of intercourse is portrayed as an act of pleasure, achieving an orgasm is an indication of a satisfying sexual act. Inability to achieve an orgasm is far more common in females than in males and this can be due to various reasons.
Read on to know some more about the causes and ways to manage this:
A mix of psychological, social, and physical conditions can lead to orgasmic disorders in female. Some of the common causes are listed below:
- History of sexual abuse
- Poor self-esteem
- Relationship issues, lack of trust, conflicts, etc.
- Cultural or social beliefs
- Advancing age
- Chronic medical conditions like diabetes
- Medications like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), which are frequently used in depression (depression is common in women)
- Gynecologic issues like hysterectomy
It is a vicious cycle that is contributed by more than one of these factors, which leads to strengthening of the disorder in the future. Types of orgasmic disorders: There are four types of orgasmic disorders, which are as follows:
- Primary anorgasmia: Women with such disorders have never been able to achieve an orgasm.
- Secondary anorgasmia: Over a period of time, women who previously have had orgasms are unable to achieve an orgasm.
- Situational anorgasmia: Women suffering from it would be able to achieve an orgasm only during certain situations like oral sex or masturbation, but may not climax during regular sexual intercourse.
- General: These women could be highly stimulated and aroused, but would still be unable to achieve climax.
Management and diagnosis
The first step in management is diagnosis. A detailed discussion with the doctor about sexual history followed by physical examination can help identify the problem. Being open about discussing this private topic is very important in diagnosis and treatment.
Treatment would depend on the underlying cause, and include the following:
- Diagnose and treat/manage underlying medical conditions like diabetes.
- Switch to an alternate antidepressant if SSRIs are being used.
- Involve in sex therapy where cognitive behavioral therapy is a big component. Becoming aware of what can be is very important.
- Sexual counseling with the partner to resolve any conflicts, improves trust levels and the overall health of the relationship. This is often a major cause for this disorder.
- Involving the partner to help in achieving an orgasm by clitoral stimulation, etc.
- Hormone therapy in the form of a pill, patch or gel may be used to increase sensitization in the genital area. These help by improving blood flow to the genitals and increasing sexual desire.
It is important to understand that female anorgasmia is very common and though it can be frustrating, it can be managed effectively. But do not forget to admit the problem and seek help. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a gynaecologist and ask a free question.