I am so depressed nd never do any work due to close relationship with boy friends after brk up I'm so depressed.

Question

It looks like you are pining for him after the breakup. Have you analyzed why you two had this fallout? If it your fault, then apologize and see if he is amenable. If not you may have done something quite unforgivable. You must learn what that difference was about your past relations and this particular one and find out how to live with a love relationship. There must be love, respect, commitment, honesty, trust, and freedom in the romantic scene. If however, this is final, then remove all associations of his: gifts, notes, letters, cards, emails, and any reminders to get him out of your system, not just the mind. Keep the good memories but don’t indulge in them. Get back to your old pals and revive those contacts. Normally when we get a boyfriend, we drop all our friends and live exclusively with him. This is not a good thing to do, generally. So do get back to them and get into good social circles. They will help you get over him. Do not talk ill or malign your ex to your friends, whatever was the reason. That is, unfortunately, a very bad habit many of us have – we must still respect his reputation and treat him with dignity. Since this break up is so serious for you that depression also plaguing you, do meet up with a counselor and talk about your feelings, openly. This is not the end of the world and he is not the only boy in life. You will find another but learn not to repeat the mistakes that led to the breakup. In the meantime please do the following sincerely because you could resolve the problem of depression better with good cooperation: Have a good night’s sleep, have a good breakfast of more proteins, meditate often, remain free of stress, eat a lot of fiber, nuts, avocado, exercise regularly, eat dark chocolate, do Yoga meditation exercises, etc. I suggest you do the opposite of what this depression makes you feel like doing (actually, not doing): you will need to fight this condition. You must become active; stay upright during the daylight time; meet people; never sleep during the day, wake up by 6 am every day, play some active games, especially contact games, do physical exercises, talk to people and join some social clubs, attend Yoga classes etc. Watch sitcoms on TV or comedies and cheer yourself up. Go for excursions in groups, for outings, camps, conferences, and religious conventions. Get a pet dog and spend time training it, exercising it and relating to it. Expose yourself to some sunlight every day, at least, 30 minutes but not in the scorching heat. Whatever happens, please incorporate these three important adaptations in your life: always be responsible, be respectful, and be functional. If you did these three, lots of things will go well in life. Please pray and have faith in God to alleviate your sufferings. Don’t wait for others to help. Use your own motivation, which might be at its lowest, but persevere and win this battle. Above all to be really happy, you need to live in love and for love. Learn all about emotions and how to handle them and that will get you out of the depression rather easily and quickly. A counselor is there only to facilitate you, all the hard word must come from you, and your cooperation with that person is very critical for your success. Be positive every day and learn to be contented with what you have. Do some left brain exercises: it is the happy brain. Here are a few suggestions: shut your left nostril and breathe, move your eyes from right to left and vice versa for at least half a minute at a time, and do callisthenic exercises with some form of counting, regularly. Whatever happens please cooperate with the therapy and do not discontinue until the condition is completely resolved.

Saul Pereira · Accepted Answer

It looks like you are pining for him after the breakup. Have you analyzed why you two had this fallout? If it your fault, then apologize and see if he is amenable. If not you may have done something quite unforgivable. You must learn what that difference was about your past relations and this particular one and find out how to live with a love relationship. There must be love, respect, commitment, honesty, trust, and freedom in the romantic scene. If however, this is final, then remove all associations of his: gifts, notes, letters, cards, emails, and any reminders to get him out of your system, not just the mind. Keep the good memories but don’t indulge in them. Get back to your old pals and revive those contacts. Normally when we get a boyfriend, we drop all our friends and live exclusively with him. This is not a good thing to do, generally. So do get back to them and get into good social circles. They will help you get over him. Do not talk ill or malign your ex to your friends, whatever was the reason. That is, unfortunately, a very bad habit many of us have – we must still respect his reputation and treat him with dignity. Since this break up is so serious for you that depression also plaguing you, do meet up with a counselor and talk about your feelings, openly. This is not the end of the world and he is not the only boy in life. You will find another but learn not to repeat the mistakes that led to the breakup. In the meantime please do the following sincerely because you could resolve the problem of depression better with good cooperation: Have a good night’s sleep, have a good breakfast of more proteins, meditate often, remain free of stress, eat a lot of fiber, nuts, avocado, exercise regularly, eat dark chocolate, do Yoga meditation exercises, etc. I suggest you do the opposite of what this depression makes you feel like doing (actually, not doing): you will need to fight this condition. You must become active; stay upright during the daylight time; meet people; never sleep during the day, wake up by 6 am every day, play some active games, especially contact games, do physical exercises, talk to people and join some social clubs, attend Yoga classes etc. Watch sitcoms on TV or comedies and cheer yourself up. Go for excursions in groups, for outings, camps, conferences, and religious conventions. Get a pet dog and spend time training it, exercising it and relating to it. Expose yourself to some sunlight every day, at least, 30 minutes but not in the scorching heat. Whatever happens, please incorporate these three important adaptations in your life: always be responsible, be respectful, and be functional. If you did these three, lots of things will go well in life. Please pray and have faith in God to alleviate your sufferings. Don’t wait for others to help. Use your own motivation, which might be at its lowest, but persevere and win this battle. Above all to be really happy, you need to live in love and for love. Learn all about emotions and how to handle them and that will get you out of the depression rather easily and quickly. A counselor is there only to facilitate you, all the hard word must come from you, and your cooperation with that person is very critical for your success. Be positive every day and learn to be contented with what you have. Do some left brain exercises: it is the happy brain. Here are a few suggestions: shut your left nostril and breathe, move your eyes from right to left and vice versa for at least half a minute at a time, and do callisthenic exercises with some form of counting, regularly. Whatever happens please cooperate with the therapy and do not discontinue until the condition is completely resolved.

Sajeev Kumar · Answer

For depression you may need antidepressant medicines .10 Natural Depression Treatments
Being depressed can make you feel helpless. But Along with therapy and sometimes medication, there's a lot you can do on your own to fight back. Changing your behaviour ? your physical work, lifestyle, and even your way of thinking -- are all natural depression treatments .these tips can help you feel better -- starting right now.
1. Get in a routine. If you?re depressed, you need a routine depression can strip away the structure from your life. One day melts into the next. Setting a gentle daily schedule can help you get back on track.
2. When you're depressed, you may feel like you can't accomplish anything. That makes you feel worse about yourself. To push back, set daily goals for yourself.
"Start very small,? "Make your goal something that you can succeed at, like doing the dishes every other day.
As you start to feel better, you can add more challenging daily goals.
3. Exercise- It temporarily boosts feel-good chemicals called endorphins. It may also have long-term benefits for people. Regular exercise seems to encourage the brain to rewire itself in positive ways. How much exercise do you need? You don?t need to run marathons to get a benefit. Just walking a few times a week can help.
4. Eat healthy. There is no magic / special; diet that corrects depression. It's a good idea to watch what you eat, though. If depression tends to make you overeat, getting in control of your eating will help you feel better.
Although nothing is definitive, there?s evidence that foods with omega-3 fatty acids (such as fish) and folic acid (such as spinach) could help ease depression.
5. Get enough sleep. Depression can make it hard to get enough sleep and can make depression worse.
What can you do? Start by making some changes to your lifestyle. Go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Try not to nap. Take all the distractions out of your bedroom -- no computer and no TV. In time, you may find your sleep improves.
6. Take on responsibilities. When you?re depressed, you may want to pull back from life and give up your responsibilities at home and at work. Staying involved and having daily responsibilities can work as a natural depression treatment. They ground you and give you a sense of accomplishment.
If you're not up to full-time school or work, that?s fine. Think about part-time. If that seems like too much, consider volunteer work.
7. Challenge negative thoughts. In your fight against depression, a lot of the work is mental -- changing how you think. When you're depressed, you leap to the worst possible conclusions. You might feel like no one likes you, but is there real evidence for that? You might feel like the most worthless person on the planet, but is that really likely? It takes practice, but in time you can beat back those negative thoughts before they get out of control.
8. Check with your doctor before using supplements. "There's promising evidence for certain supplements for depression, Those include fish oil, folic acid. Always check with your doctor before starting any supplement, especially if you?re already taking medications 9. Do something new. When you?re depressed, you?re in a rut. Push yourself to do something different. Go to a museum. Pick up a used book and read it on a park bench. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Take a language class.
"When we challenge ourselves to do something different, there are chemical changes in the brain, "Trying something new alters the levels of [the brain chemical] dopamine, which is associated with pleasure, enjoyment, and learning.
10. Try to have fun. If you?re depressed, make time for things you enjoy. What if nothing seems fun anymore? "That's just a symptom of depression, You have to keep trying anyway.
As strange as it might sound, you have to work at having fun. Plan things you used to enjoy, even if they feel like a chore. Keep going to the movies. Keep going out with friends for dinner.
When you're depressed, you can lose the knack for enjoying life, you have to relearn how to do it. In time, fun things really will feel fun again.

Aarathi Selvan · Answer

Dear Lybrate user,
Break ups can be a tough phase to pass through. We feel like a huge loss has just occured. Make sure you give yourself the space to acknowledge what has happened. Also remeber that eveyrhting is temporary, even this pain you are going through. Try diverting yourself to tasks you love doing. Also, try to reflect on the lessons you have learnt through your jouney and the postive side of what has happened. Rationalizing what has happened helps to a great extent. Give it some time to pass through. Even after all this if your pain does not seem manageable I would recommend you to visit a professional psychologist. Usually psychologists or counselors have a lot of experience and knowledge about how to skillfully deal with life issues such as break ups. You could also connect with us online to explore the issue further and help you feel better. Be proactive in dealing with your issue. All the best!