I am 40 years old female. I am a divorcee, have 8 years old son and I stay with my parents. I waa very close to my mother n have lost her recently. After 3 months of ICU stay she passed away on 14 september. All these days I was with her in hospital but till now I am unable to accept that she is no more. I am unable to sleep, cry endlessly. I many times also feel that someone around. Have lost interest on everything. I tried taking sedatives n anti depressants but nothing is working. What should I do?
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I think being a divorcee and losing someone as close as a mother may have exasperated your condition of loneliness. Still, life has to go on and after you have adequately expressed sufficient grief you can and will move on. If you have not felt a closure tot eh grief, then it is likely that you have merely indulged in a form of pity, close to self-pity, and therefore the healing will not have been complete. If that is the case, please meet with a counselor and deal with the grief fully and completely. For your sleep problems do try the following suggestions: In your case particularly, do not sleep during the day; don’t even lie down. Go for regular exercise (breathing through your nostrils only) at a fixed time (at about 6 am) every day, whether you sleep or not. You must develop this habit of sleeping by 10 pm latest every night and wake up at a uniform time by 6 am every morning, even if you do not get sleep. If you do not get sleep, just lie down and if you have a bed lamp (or you could get one) lie down and read something light but not exciting. Your eyes will tire and you will fall asleep. If you like you may also put on light and soft music with the sleep function on. Depending on whether you are a visual or auditory person, you may watch TV in a lying down position until you feel sleepy. Have a warm bath before going to bed (for some people a cold bath at night seems to induce sleep! If you are one of them, please do so). Place the head side of your bed in a North-South position. The room must be as dark as possible and there should be no electronic items that give off even a light LED glow. There must be ample ventilation in the room. Avoid strong odors, except lavender, on your body or in the room, or on your sheets and clothes. There should not be any live plants in your bedroom. Sleep with the lightest of clothes or without any clothing. When lying down to sleep, lie down on your left ear as much as possible. Do not sleep directly under an overhead fan. You must eat a good breakfast, a fairly light lunch, and an early dinner, which should be a very light meal. Whatever you eat in the other meals, have only a pure carbohydrate meal at night with any vegetables, and preferably before 8 pm. Do not drink much liquids after or near about dinner time. When lying down to sleep you may use the 4-7-8 breathing pattern of sleep inducement i.e. Breathe in for four counts through your nostril only, hold for 7 counts, and exhale with a whoosh sound, through your mouth only, for 8 counts. Repeat this four times in the morning and just before you sleep at night. If you know Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT (check this out either on YouTube or Google), then please practice this too for sleep induction. Self-hypnosis and slow relaxation techniques, at night will be tremendously useful. Acupuncture or acupressure will both be very useful too. Pray last thing at night before you sleep.
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Got your pain n concern nothing wrong about it happens. I can clearly see you as bold leader / parent by such firm sharing to take on! what are you planning your n your kids near future n long term goals so that I can empower you to achieve it. About your mom is just beside you to support you by her sharing n what she told you! sleeping n anti depressant may / will make you dump. While Holistic Ayurveda Approach n yoga n your friends n your new challenges are calling you to lead from front. Asthma is just one of expression you need to take on life as whole head-on! Or? Still your willing grab somebody's shoulder to rest or cry or your availing your bold shoulder to your kid to grow n develop. Life is all about choices you made! I may be Harsh?/ impolite But you know. U've seen how life throws uncertain hard things to make you / step out as bold person. Feel free to communicate. please consult Ayurveda college Hospital in your city for further management.
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Dear Lybrate user, First of all you should accept the reality. For that be positive. Make your thoughts positive. Be relex. Do Meditation. Deep breathing exercise. Morning walk. Make yourself busy in some work. Spend some time to your hobby. Spend some time to naural things like garden, temple etc.
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It is natural to feel low and miss the person you have lost. However if it is interfering with your sleep, studies or general well being, or if you feel suicidal, you need to consult a psychiatrist. It is common to feel low, cry, feel like you are alone, or lose your self confidence. Usually time is the best healer. However if things are too difficult to handle you should talk to a psychiatrist or counselor. Confide in someone close to you, who will support you in this difficult time. Don't cut off from friends or family, even if you feel like you want to be alone.
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Hello,First of all i would like to say that u have to accept things in life,its hard but truth,,life has to go on.. n moreover u should think abt ur kid at this point of time..Various things are there which can b corrected,wat is gone is gone..there's no point in thinking over..Things are destined anyway.. better meet up a counselor n take homoeopathic medicine Ignatia 1M 4pills once afternoon for 4days.. these pills take half an hour before food n don't take it with water..n keep these pills on ur tongue..it ll get absorbed..u don't have to chew..
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HI Ms. lybrate-user, You are facing depression, let me suggest you wonderful Homeopathic medicine - Take Ignatia 1M, 6 pills two times a day for next three days only, you will be back to normal life in a week. Your feed back matters. Take care.
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Hello. First and foremost my deepest condolences on your loss. I would not say that it's common for people to feel what you r go in through right now. Because to be precise it's not. People get on with their lives even when their own parents are in dire straits or even. Pass away. I would just advice you to just consider what your mom. Would have advised you to. Do if your best friend would have to go through what you are go in through. Also it happens that we feel after a person who is so close to. Us as our own body passes away, we start feeling, we have no meaning to our life and we are just puppets in this big play called life. But I would suggest you to look towards the person who needs you the most. Yes your son. Just as you were inseparable with your mom. And she stood as a anchor of hope when your personal life's ship was shaking to. And fro. She steadied your ship. Same you have a moral responsibility to look after your son. Make it your aim in. Life to become a pillar of faith and hope for your son. Once you get a sense of belief to do something which can. Only be achieved by you and you alone then we get the necessary strength to withstand any pain/loss. I would suggest you to download a book called Man's search for Meaning. Read it. It has helped me and I hope it might help you. If I have been. Of any help to you kindly give your feedback to help me serve more needy people. Tk care. God bless.
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Dear Lybrate user, Thanks for contacting us. It seems like you are going through a great loss and it makes a lot of sense that you are feeling very sad and have a hard time accepting that she is no more. Losing a loved one is a painful experience and it might feel like it's never going to be better. It was only less than two months since she passed away though, so give yourself some time. Allow yourself to feel sad, angry, hopeless - whatever feelings might be there - and then move on. Take your time. Things will change, even though it might not feel like it. Everyone deals with grief differently and there are no right or wrong ways, but there are ways to cope with the pain that might help you. Connecting with others might help you heal. Have you tried talking to others who have experienced something similar? There are support groups of people who are all experiencing a loss of a loved one who can help each other cope with their loss and grief. They often find that they are not only supported by others who can understand them, but also realise that others need them too. If you feel the need to talk to one of us we can certainly set up a session online to do the same. Else do contact a psychologist at Aurangabad to help you process your grief. I hope this was helpful for you. All the best!
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