Hello doctor I did love marriage marriage ko one n half year hogaya. I have one baby he is fr four months now n life is so problematic now my is husband is not supportive. He use to scold me without any reason. Mjh se cheek trh se baat bhi nahii karta. He talks to me wid disrespect and abhi m apni mom dad k yaha hu as I mentioned that mnne love marriage ki thi to my mom also use to say such things bht kchh sunna padta h I am so depressed kabhi kbhii bht suicidal thoughts aate hainn mind m pls help me to get out of it plsssss.

Ms. Sadhana MishraPsychologist2021yrs exp

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Hi,...it must be very confusing and hurtful for you to see your husband treat you in ways not respectful. You are feeling sad as your mother seems to be holding you responsible for all that is happening in your life. You are also feeling lonely as there doesn't seem to be any support around you. A lot must have changed around you since your marriage, trying to settle in a married life itself brings a lot of challenges and now you have a baby to take care of. Gather yourself up, see how brave you have been to handle so many changes. Your body must be recuperating from childbirth, and yes you do need support from your people around you. Tell them that you need their support in various dimensions. Talk to your husband about things around him. See if your time together with your husband has reduced after your child's birth. Notice since when has his behaviour changed towards you. Let him know how important he is to you, also tell him what you loved about him and are missing that. Take out some time exclusively for him, try to put your child to sleep early and utilise that time to be with your husband sharing quality time together. To your parents, try to hear out all their concerns for you and also tell them how important they are to you . Show them your love. Tell them how much of their support you need. I'm sure they will be willing to let go of their anger over your marriage and accept your husband as a part of the family. In doing all this stay calm and receptive. And in order to be calm and receptive you need to take care of yourself first. Begin a routine for your physical well being and love yourself for your mental well being. Doing a love marriage is not a crime and you don't have to feel guilty over it. Eat well, sleep well, go out with your friends, do things that used to give you happiness and satisfaction. If your husband or parents are not cooperating then you can seek family or couple counselling to work on the relationships. Whatever happens keep faith in yourself, you are a strong girl and will not allow suicidal thoughts to overcome your living spirit. Just that things are overwhelmingly non favourable for you, you are feeling hopeless. But little effort and lots of self care and open communication with your people maybe helpful. There is always help available, you can always consult a counsellor to work out a solution around your area. Take care of yourself!! 

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