Hi. I am 22 year old boy. I am in a relationship since last 5 years, its a distant relationship, but I oftenly use to meet her. I love her a lot. She means a lot to me and I want to spend whole of my life with her only. It is not a lustful relationship. My love for her kept flourishing with time like a flower does. I had a truly bonding with her, now also I am having but this is what I want to discuss about, since last two years, I had been suffering from anxiety and due to that, I also suffered with somewhat depression. But now I am not having depression. And if I talk about anxiety, then I do not know whether is it there or not but I do feel like brain fog now, my head feels like something is missing out from my middle part of head, it feels somewhat light inside my head. When I was extremely suffering with anxiety and dep. I used to wath porn and masturbate, with time it got increased, on average I used to masturbate 5 times a day, sometimes 6 or 7.I was very moral person and I think it was never good to do that with such a noble relation I am having, I believe that it was a cheating to her, my her. But still I did that coz it made me somewhat relaxed. Now what a problem is that I am not feeling emotionally with her like before. Those emotions which always made me smile, cry, excited, now I am not having them. And it hurts me and I feel so sad about that. I can not live my life without her. Yes I do can survive, but such a life without her is meaningless to me. I just want those emotions back in my life, I want to live her emotionally and physically and by all means. Please guide me.