My wife gets irritated very often .gets disturbed by anybody coming to home. She always has fear from others .her behaviour is suddenly changes. She can talk about any issue for long duration. Without stopping. She has no control on her emotions. She has very innocent mind. But on disturbance she talks very abusive language.
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Dear lybrate user, there has to be some strong reason behind her fear. Talk to her what is so fearful about other people coming home? encourage her to talk about what she starts thinking about when someone is visiting your home. Try to understand her thoughts and feelings. Does she feel tired, scared, bored, used, judged, taken for granted etc. Then see how you can help her to modify her thoughts. See if she needs any kind of support from you. About her behavioural changes, it appears to me that your wife has learnt this behaviour from her parents/grandparents/teachers etc. Probably she thinks that it is ok to behave like this. She is not realising how distressing it is for you. Firstly, when she is not angry, talk to her and try to learn more about her parents and their way of showing their anger or frustration. You will get some clue. Then you can show her that she is also expressing her displeasure or anger in the same way and it hurts you. You may tell her a few other alternatives to express anger - like what you do when you get angry or frustrated. The abusive language also she must have learnt in her childhood. Ask her to make conscious efforts to use alternative and mild words. Tell her how her abusive language impacts other people and ultimately her relations with them. You will need little patience. But once you make her aware of these things she will know that she is hurting others and there are better ways to express negative feelings. All the best.
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