Dear madam, I have done a lot of mistakes in my life. And didn't study well. So jobless. We r two sisters. Always it is in my mind that if I won't work how I LL see my parents in future. Bt as I hav neglected so much always depressed over were to start. Moreover my in laws r pathetic. whatever ill they say that only goes in my mind very now and then. Consciously or unconsciously. To overcome it I sleep maximum tym. No regularity in life. My husband is very supportive in every case. Bt his encouragement always beaten my so called uncontrolled negative thoughts. I have become mean. Bt already I am 27. I get angry so easily. If ever I talk to someone I love I get irritated. I don't feel normal and cool. I behave very bad in anger. I am very frustrated. I know if I get a job everything will b fine. Bt for tat wer to start and wen I LL get. Moreover to give birth a kid is an additional pressure. I love baby. Bt I just don't want it coz of anyone's want or self. I want it to complete my family. Bt nt under pressure or in such frustrating mindset of mine. I qualify all qualities of depression as far as I have surfed net. Bt always think tat will power can make it better. Bt truly I have gone to frustration, lethargy, negativity all at once. I don't sleep at nights. All negative thats come. I have become scared. Many a times I become emotional and cry like anything. I am scared of consulting any doctor or medicine because my mother is a patient of depression and medicine makes person robot. C is fine now bt not like the old one. please help doctor.

Ms. Hemal Sanjay KuntePsychologist5yrs exp

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I appreciate your openness and your acceptance of your perceived mistakes. I also think that it is wise to sort out your emotions before you have a baby. Now, please understand that we all make mistakes in life. We have to see that we don't repeat the mistakes and learn from past experiences. Also, you need to forgive yourself for your past mistakes. Remember -" if one door closes, another one opens" - if you think you did not study well, you may try to find an occupation which is related to your hobby e. G. If you love to paint - start something on your own which involves painting work, or if you are health conscious, learn yoga so that you yourself can become a trainer. Because by doing this you will start earning money and then your concern about how to look after your parents will get sorted out. If your mother is a depression patient, don't think that your condition will be like her. You two are different individuals and are likely to have different life problems. Technology and medicines have advanced a lot, since your mother's time. So don't think that if you go to a doctor, you will become like your mother. But if you think you need help and if you don't go to a doctor, in time, then certainly you are inviting trouble. If you seriously feel that you are sad most of the times, the please talk to a counsellor/psychologist who will help you in finding the cause of your depresssion and will also help in assessing your depression. Talking to a counsellor will help you in managing your anger and other negative thoughts. Don't rely on the internet for final diagnosis, it is good only to have basic information. You are not able to sleep at night, because probably you are sleeping a lot during day time. Your in-laws may have sensed that somehting is not ok with you or you are not happy, and hence may be worried about you and your husband and your future. Kindly seek professional help. Take care. 

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