Dear doctor, I am 24 years old girl single. May be get married by six months. I have a great gud hearted friend in life. I like him a lot, sometimes I feel like he is more than a friend n he feels the same. But we both never shared this feeling to each other. We became friends in facebook 5 years ago. N we met 3 years ago. I never felt any insecurity with him as he is unique n very very good hearted brave and kind person. To be fair I fell in love with him but I never revealed it to him, though I propose him, he can not marry me right now, he has many responsibilities and ambitions in life. So I dont wanna make him in a trouble as he can think about marriage only after 5 yrs. He is 26 now. Now what my problem is. I recently went to a women's expo from there I got lot of information regarding pregnancy and other girls health issues and also about sex life. On that day I came back to home and shared my day with him, and showed him some pics regarding pregnancy taken at the expo. For the first time we chatted about these kind of things and it made him tempted. After that he started a lit bit flirting with me but I managed him. He became so. Open to me chatting these things in these days and I never restricted him as I like it. But still. We are good friends never crossed the limit. He is now far away from me. We chat on WhatsApp only. Recently He was very depressed and I tried to make him normal. While chatting He asked me to have a hot chat. But to maintain the friendship's beauty I refused it. He said that sexting can make both of us feel relaxed as I too have some depressions in life. But still I refused his request. I really do not want to spoil the beauty of a friendship. But on the other side I want to help him. At least for a one time he is asking to have a hit chat just to relax. I am very much confused doctor. Should I go for it? Or should I not? If I do hot chat with him what are the things I should be careful? Sometimes I feel like it is like cheating my future hubby.(but My friend is also a good guy n I dont feel any kind of insecurities with him. Even I too get tempted to have hot chat with him. What should I do doctor?
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Dear friend, as I understand you like him and if circumstances are favorable you would like to marry him. And perhaps he also likes you but as he doesn't know about your feeling and he is not proposing you. Physical attraction is very normal at this age. Many times at young age love and sex seems synonyms. That is also normal at this age. Obviously love includes sex but it is much more than physical attraction. After reading what you have written. I would advice you to talk openly and share your feelings for each other. Give yourself some time may be 6 to 12 months and see if relationship is going somewhere and if you want to get married or not. You may need to talk and explore and understand each other during this time. Recently after the expo it seems that he has some idea that you like him so indirectly he is trying to find out what is in your heart. If you love him you would agree with his sex requests, that is what he might be thinking. This is also a good indicator for both of you to be open to each other about your feelings. About sex chating. These days there are lot of cyber crimes. Any thing written could be used against you in future so I would strongly advice you against it. If you feel comfortable talking about sex on phone that would be okay, still, before venturing into that direction - try and figure out where this relationship is going. So far even though you are tempted your intuition has guided you against doing something in that direction. Keep trusting your intuition and later, if you both want to take your relationship further, plan and work towards the same. If you have other specific dilemma or want more specific advice then you may call me. As we could only write so much on an open forum like this. Hope this helps, wishing you very best,Â
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Hello miss a lot of boys and girls mix around a lot, there is much more freedom in knowing every friendship is not branded as romantic relationship. In addition today's youth have internet and chat media available to them with lots of privacy and freedom. But there is also a lot confusion amongst friendships as to where to draw the line. On the chat media people tend to open up lot more and expose even their weaknesses. All people who chat with you may not have honest and honorable intentions. There are a lot of sex predators who can cheat you and use you by getting you involved in sex crimes. Hot sext chats can be called sex crimes too, because here the other person is using you to get his sexual gratification. Once you discussed some reproductive issues with your friend and he now thinks you may be available for entertaining his sexual needs? just observe this, what does that tell you? he is not interested in committed relationship with you but wants you to engage in such practices, do you think he is really trustworthy? all mobile and internet chats can be recorded and accessed by the server. The person you are chatting with can use them against you and tell other people that you are a girl with loose morale and lack character, furthermore he may use one time incidence to pressurise you into doing similar or more dangerous things with his other friends. Keep all the possibilities in mind and stay away from chat media. If your friend does not appreciate your safety and honour, simply block him, but do protect your self.Â
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