I am 34 years married man with a daughter 5 months old. I am a medical sales professional managing a team of 6 members. While trying out to clean the corruption in the team. I have to take some harsh decision and change few team members in the team. As a result the performance get a blow even after giving 100% effort. Over last one and half years, I am wrecked both in my professional field and personal life with my parents. I have become very stressed short tempered. I fails to express my thoughts, ideas, feelings and concerts. People misunderstands me and my views. My division making power is getting creepled. All steps seems wrong. I am on the edge of getting fired. My managers who were happy 1 year back who all were backing my every decisions now finding faults in my every steps. Though I live in the same house with my parents still we have no communication. Because I couldn't agree to there preset perception, old false believe. I couldn't convince them the correct things. Very small these us becoming a big issues. The problem started when my wife got pregnant and I decided to send her to her parents for safe gestation period against my parents will. They wanted the delivery to be in my area. Now there is miles of gaps between me and my parents. My wife and me daughter is in our house with my parents but still l am deserted. Please help me.

Ms. Samiksha JainPsychologist9yrs exp

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Dear lybrate-user, all your intentions seem to be good and leaning towards fairness, caring and supporting each other. However you must realise that our decisions impact others as well and if they are not satisfied with your decisions, they have a right to voice their concerns just as you have a right. 2. Every story/ picture/ incident has various perspectives and angles to look at from. You seem to be seeing the issue of corruption from your perspective but have not taken into consideration that people whom you fire have families to support or that firing will impact them adversely and the team in number of ways. These employees might have been taking money on the side. But we're they productive and the company grew because of their hard work. Did your bosses want your team to be fired or they were willing to accept some faults over some strengths. You need to see the larger picture and then take a decision, which is wise and workable in the longer run. You seem to have gained a lot of unpopularity over 1 year time. Please examine your actions, and try to see them from the eyes and perspectives of others as well because you don't take any action in a vacuum thinking that others will be fine with all your decisions. Please learn to weigh the pros and cons of your decisions and take action after that. 2. Regarding your wife, again your intention was good to let her have rest and a safe delivery, but your parents were against this decision. Did you try to find out their reasons. Even if they are old and false beliefs. Who are you to judge them? sooner or later. What you believe in will become outdated. So should you not get respect and acceptance for that? their lives have been spent seeing that daughter in laws live with inlaws and deliver. Maybe they feared social ostracization from their community and peers? isn't that a genuine concern? maybe they are dependant on your wife to have their needs met. Isn't it best to find another route so that your wife and they both are taken care of? an open communication always helps to clear doubts and any misunderstanding. However if your parents are very rigid in their thinking and you don't find reasonable reasoning working out with them, then telling them that: you really wished that your wife could stay back and help them, but she's not well and needs rest as well, and if you agreed for this amicable, you would be really happy and peaceful. You could have looked for an alternate source of help etc for your parents. Basically, please remember to include others in decisions which are very important and will impact others as well. Learn to be flexible, tolerant and understanding. Sticking only to your principals and working will not take you far. Living in society with its negatives and positives is a fine balance which you need to achieve to be a successful individual. 

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