Hi. I am from kolkata. I do not know how to start. Maybe i'm too young for my issue. Some say it's not possible to love truly in teenage. But this happened to me in my 10th. So I fell in love with a girl of my class and we we're in a relation. People think no one can fall in true love at that age. But in this case it was someone different. Yes I was in true love. Yes but we never sacrificed our studies. Our relation was not so smooth going. So we had a bad ending of our relation. The friends she had were very different. She got indulged in drinking smoking and stuffs. And I asked her not to do it. And I even said her that it was not the right friends she was around with. She made a big scene of it. She said bad about me to anyone and everyone. I was hugely disrespected. That was the first time I was disrespected as this. Since they incident I can't trust anyone else. It's been 3 years of that incident I couldn't move on. This has been highly hampering my studies as well. I can not talk to my parents about it. But im sure they have guessed it. The girl has moved on. I haven't .i have a complex that im really out of shape. But she is beautiful. She's just been fine. Rather better. I have been hearing about her sometimes about the things she does with her boy friend now and what else. I don't know whether its really i'm not over it or its just my ego. Or im too possessive. Yes. But I can't forget that disrespect which i've been through. This affects my lifestyle these days. My career my thoughts everything. I don't have many good friends or family as well. I just have my mom and dad. The others who were close to me have gone already. Dead.so I have that phobia of losing any more loved ones as well. And I can understand that the girl was a mistake. I understand it .but I don't know where it hurts and why is it hurting so much again again. And what i've been hearing about that girl lately is related to my own close friends only. That's where it's hurting more. I'm not good looking but she is. Im totally out of shape now. I weigh 95 kg .i want to reduce my wait but I stop. I lack that will power and motivation so much. I'm somewhere jealous as well that she is happy and i'm not. Im not of a boy like her. Drinking always. Smoking always. Going out in night clubs late nights anything such. I'm a very simple middle class boy with a small family. That's it. I ovethink. Mostly negative. I can understand. If you ask me whether I can accept her yet again. My answer will be a straight no. But the thing is these illogical emotions are not leaving my head. I just feel that how ignored was I at that moment. I have no real value for anyone. I understand this. But I can't practise. I also lack self confidence. And I lack it so much. And its just yesterday when I learned about that she's been intimate with one of my very known friend as well. So thats more hurting. Thats coming to my mind every single moment since yesterday. I don't know is it ego or jealousy or some kind of complex or wat is it I can't understand. Then what is the way out of this. Then how do I stop thinking about my past and move on? This may sound bit stupid doctors, but this is what i've been going through and it's not comfortable. I can't concentrate on my future. I can't trust or love someone else. It's been 3 years now. please need your help.