I am very very afraid of lot of things in my life. I have lot of phobias and my mind is completely collapsed of fear all the time. Even though certain things doesn't matter for me but my brain is not accepting and creating more fear. I don't have friends, I am single and have none to share my fear. Please help me how to stabilise my mind and to stop fear. I am now more afraid of local thieves and slum people. Nowadays more bike thieves arising and these guys would kill people for money just like that. Lots of crimes and I AM TIRED OF BEING cautious ALL THE TIME. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't go out. I couldn't speak in public. .I couldn't park my bike or car and do my work. My mind just threatens me all the time. I do over think a lot. Please help me out I AM AFRAID THAT ONE DAY I WILL BECOME MENTAL. Please help me out. I want to be brave and how to remove all the negative thoughts from my mind. I am feeling shy to ask help for my cowardness directly. Please help.

Mr. Saul PereiraPsychologist52yrs exp

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There is nothing to feel embarrassed about being afraid. The more you talk about it, the better you will feel. So it is very important to make friends and lot so them and you may have some close friends from among them to share very intimate things. The fear complex is doing you in. Please attend a personality development course that highlights the five-factorial approach: physical, emotional, intellectual, social and spiritual quotients. If you develop in these five areas, you will certainly improve your confidence. Some personality courses emphasize and focus on public speaking to a large extend. It is not too bad an idea but it is a little narrow in perspective. You could instead attend a Toast Masters Club, which does the same thing in a more organized manner. Apart from regular and aerobic exercising, you must also visit a gym to build a good body image. You can go for personal grooming classes too. While regular vigorous exercise develops your body, the regimen will also enlarge your heart and help you handle stressful situations much more competently than others who don’t exercise. Dress well, eat well, sleep well and conduct yourself well in social circles to build confidence. Perform well in your studies and work, and feel good about your achievements. You could also go for hypnosis sessions to build your self-image from within. Now, remember that all your problems are in your mind: spiritual wellness, faith and prayer will boost your confidence really well. Emotional wellness will take care of the fear factor. There are lots of affirmations, if said three times at a time, everyday, they will gradually strengthen your concept of yourself. Yoga and meditation will also build you up. Speaking to a counselor will give you personal assistance in pursuing these goals. In all this, trust is a very important development. If you don't have trust you will never relate to people and you will never enjoy relationships. There is strength in numbers and you are avoiding the very thing that will make you feel secure. There may be a lot of childhood issues that may have contributed to this level of fear and lack of trust. The counselor will help you [process this and identify the origins and sort out a lot of these contributors to yoru problems. 

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