I am in a relationship with a girl, but due to twisted consequences we are keeping it secret, we have a common friend, he is also in love with her, but she is afraid to tell him that she is in love with me, she fears that it will break him emotionally, she doesn't want me to tell it either, I am getting affected by this, this is getting harder and harder I don't want to break up with her, but it is killing me inside, I don't know what to do help me.

Ms. Hemal Sanjay KuntePsychologist5yrs exp

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In life sometimes we have to chose between what is" not a good option" and what is" a bad option" everytime we do not have the opportunity to chose between" good" and" bad" hence, sometimes decisions become very tough. In your case, it appears that you are not ready to take the risk of declaring your relationship with the girl to your family and friends. It also appears to me that the girl is more concerned about your friend's emotions than yours. You both need to sit and discuss the issue. You need to tell her that this secrecy is affecting you badly. You both need to know that you have to accept" natural consequences" of your actions. In any case you will have to tell others about your relationship. So instead of maintaining secrecy at the cost of your feelings it is advisable to take risk of declaring it now, to avoid future consequences. 

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