Hi im 23years old male. Mera last 5-6 months se mera mind past ki baaton me chalta rehta hai round the clock. Actually last year mera meri girlfriend se breakup ho gaya tha, jiske sath mera 6mnths ka relation tha. Or jiske liye mai khud ko responsible maanta hun. I think mere ego or attitude ki vajah se breakup ho gaya tha or voh bhi kabhi-2 kehti thi ki mai uski baaton ko for granted leta hu. Mai roz guilt mein survive kar raha hu or apne aap ko jimmendar manta hu. Uski baatein roz mere mind mein 24hrs ghumti rehti hai or uske saath spend kia hua time bhi. Mai bhi usko pyar karta tha Or mai janta hun voh meri life mein ab kbhi vapas nhi aayegi and I really miss her. Mera daily suicide karne ka mann karta hai. Aisa lagta hai jaise meri life ek curse hai. Or ha mujhe OCD bhi hai, but mujhe nahi lagta sab iski vajah se hai. I really don't knw what to do. Meri mind ki koi concentration nahi hai. Mai daily stress mein rehta hu. If you can help me toh plss help me ki wht I have to do really ki mai apni life phirr se khushi se jee saku. Aur apna mind iss cheez se divert karke apni professional life mein kuch kar saku.
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You seem to have realised that you have made some mistakes in the past but being harsh and judgemental of yourself is only going to harm you rather than help you in any way. Be gentle with yourself and tell yourself that whatever you did and said was unintentional and you never meant her any harm. You did what you have seen others doing. But now you know better than before and are willing to behave more amiably and respectful of the other person. Thus freeing yourself from that guilt, and looking forward to life and meeting more girls to be friends with and learn about them and yourself will be your learning curve. However you need to treat ocd with medication and counselling to keep it under check. Take care.Â
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