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Hi, I am 27 years old girl. I was divorced in 2014. I was loving one person. He too divorced. But he has a female child. We lived together almost near one year. I got pregnant last year because of him. Then due to legal issues I could not continue my pregnancy so we decided to abort. But I feel too much of guilty still. Then I found some changed in his behavior. Very recently he cancelled his divorce for his daughter. His daughter wants him back. She is a kid. After some discussion he ask me to come to his place. So I left my family for him. I am a independent girl. I will not depend any one financially. I have my own job. I am earning 40 k. Actually we informed to my parents that we both got married. My parents informed to every relation and neighbors that I got married. One problem happened to his daughter. He solved her problem. But when he came here he totally changed. He did not speak to me. I know the value and role of father. But he forgot about my situation. Now I feel that I want my baby from him only. My parents come to know what happen to me. So they forced me and took me to home back. But i am answering every relation and neighbors. But my lover do not think about me. I do not know how he turned suddenly against me. He spoke to my brother that, I have a female child. Also i am not fit for handle two families. i am not financially well settle." my family told me that" let handle this issue later" and now i am in house arrest. I know they want my good future. But I can not think anyone as my husband. I want my baby from him only. I'll take care of myself and my baby. My lover told that" if you are financially well settled then I can give whatever you want. I have planned that I'll go to his place again and I will see my career and also i am gonna to ask baby from him. My difficult situation is. I can not forget him and I want him in my life as my husband. I never stop him to skip his responsibilities. Please advise me how and what to talk with him? Because he feels that i am treating him bad. Also he know very well that i am loving him most. Doctor please advise me how to handle this.

1 Doctor Answered
Sit with him and calmly talk to him about your concerns and with equal calmness listen to what he wants to do about his marriage and with this relationship with you. Try to arrive at a mutual decision because it will be a long term commitment with long term and huge consequences. You would not like to have a child and a strained relationship with him, would you? so, give proper thought to your relationship, realities and consequences of any decision you take. You can enter couple counselling to explore your relationship along with your partner. If he doesn't agree then you can seek individual counselling. Before being obsessed about bringing in a baby with him, remember it's a life that you would bring into the world and what kind of life you would like to give the child. I'm sure you are responsible and will seek proper help and guidance. Take care.
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