I think your depression
is anger based. The anxiety
based and may cause you undue distress. Depression and anxiety often appear together. However, you must meet with a counselor too and get good assessments on the basis of your information sharing. Both the feelings of anger and fear must be dealt with for any change. You may need to learn much about emotions too, and the counselor will meet that need too. First, visit the counselor and discuss your problem at length. If necessary take your parents and your entire developmental history from prenatal days till today. Also it would help if you took your family history from your grandparents onwards. The counselor will help identify the origins and give you a series of things to do. Now cooperate with both of the therapies for the best results, for a substantially long time. Do not discontinue the counseling, if you are on medication. You must be active and work towards your reformation. Many lifestyle changes need to be made to progress away for the condition. When you are depressed, you will feel lazy though I would like to call it lethargy. There is an inertia and lack of energy to even think, let alone act. You are required to literally do the opposite of what you feel like doing, or not doing. Depression makes you want to withdraw, lie down, sleep, become lethargic, slow down, make you too lazy to even think etc. So when I suggested doing the opposite, you will need to fight this disease. You must become active; stay upright during the daylight time; meet people; never sleep during the day, wake up by 6 am every day, play some active games, especially contact games, do physical exercises, talk to people and join some social clubs, eat more of proteins and vegetables, attend yoga
classes etc. Watch sitcoms on tv or comedies and cheer yourself up. Go for excursions in groups, for outings, camps, conferences, and religious conventions. Get a pet dog and spend time training it, exercising it and relating to it. Expose yourself to some sunlight every day, at least 30 minutes but not in the scorching heat. Whatever happens, please incorporate these three important adaptations in your life: always be responsible, be respectful, and be functional. If you did these three things, lots of things will go well in life. Please pray and have faith in god to alleviate your sufferings too. Don’t wait for others to help. Use your own motivation, which might be at its lowest, but persevere and win this battle.