I am 28 years old. I had a love marriage. Now my husband wants a divorce from me. Because of my heavy intense anger. I go mad and crazy and hurt his egoi am very obese as well. I never took serious measures on this. He said je hate emotional and also to have physical relationship with me. I know I am wrong. Is it better to give him divorce? We have a 3 years old kid too. I am scared and confused I am a real real hell to his life.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist46yrs exp

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If your anger is the cause, you can sort that out with some therapy. If even after that you are unable to deal with your anger, you may consider divorce, especially because your husband cannot live with it. You may need to investigate whether the anger has origins in childhood. You may also find that you may be into emotional eating and suffering from obesity from that. So it is worth sorting this out for both reasons and enjoying a good life with your child and husband. None of the feelings are to be controlled. The way you express them has to be appropriate. Now anger is pure energy and people mistakenly think that they must express anger violently, or aggressively, or they can damage something, or throw a fit, or kill, or hurt, or withdraw, etc. These expressions can be followed, if they are appropriate to the situation. You can instead simply talk about the feeling, write about it and share it with someone who understands; scream and shout in a situation which warrants it and so on. When the expression is most suitable, the repercussions are minimized and the other person tends to understand and is willing to apologize and sort out the matter. Many of us are inclined to worry about the consequences of expressing anger and use fear to suppress the legitimate expression. You can exorcise your anger out of your system by exercising, but it is the energy that is expended not the feeling. Unexpressed feelings will hurt you back by clinging on to a favorite organ and troubling it enough to cause it to malfunction or lead to its total dysfunction. You can also hand over the feeling to God, if you are a spiritual person, and very effectively too. All feelings must be expressed without exception. 

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Dr. Jagadeesan M.S.Psychiatrist13yrs exp

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You seem to be suffering from Borderline Personality or Emotionally unstable personality. The cause is unknown but research suggests there is an interaction between adverse life events and genetic factors. Neurobiological research suggests that abnormalities in the frontolimbic networks are associated with many of the symptoms There is a pattern of sometimes rapid fluctuation from periods of confidence to despair, with fear of abandonment and rejection. There is a particularly strong tendency towards suicidal thinking and self-harm. They have love-hate relationship with close ones. Transient psychotic symptoms, including brief delusions and hallucinations, may also be present. It is also associated with substantial impairment of social, psychological and occupational functioning and quality of life. People with emotionally unstable personality disorder are particularly at risk of suicide. Its course is variable and, although many people recover over time. Kindly consult a psychiatrist for remedy.  

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