I'm 28, f. Still don't have any willingness to survive. Wish to end my life. Have many desires to succeed and answer many people, but don't want to come out of my shell. Very childish and have low decision making skills. Tried to hurt myself twice (took 10 pills altogether). No desire to achieve anything. All finished from inside. Unable to understand what to do. A lot of confusion goes on, low confidence. Mood disorders. Wakes lately, lethargic at work. Takes a lot of thought in doing any work. Keeps on delaying the work, ultimately does it but that too just dragging and whenever I push myself, either I fail in doing it well or just the opposite happens. Overthink for every action, exaggerate even minute works. Stressful in everything that is not according to me. Longs for appreciation, for which, I forget to give time my mom. I don't care for myself, eventually, does the same with my mom. Works at the last moment and when have time, don't utilise it and never prefer to meet people. Given a lot of importance to people in my life that they took control over my emotions, made me a joke. I disrespect my mom and get frustrated very early and no proper time management, no desire to stick to one skill and upgrade that to be successful. Highly impatient and cannot control my thought and emotions. My current job is till the coming september 2021, after that i'll be jobless. Though I may get a full-time job but i'm very scared to face people or situation. In short, i'm finished from inside. My experience with two psychologist and one psychiatrist was bad and I really don't even know if I can really do anything by myself that too correctly. Lost all desires, but still made upy mind finally to seek for help because there are a few people, who in thd name of mental health specialist (outside this platform) are playing tricks to earn money. However, Lybrate is a trusting platform, so took a chance to know my actual situation that I cannot have a good hold on my own life. Also, i'm every time filled with thoughts that I forgot just said thing and remains absent minded that I ask for the same twice or thrice or more. Thanks in advance!