I am a student and facing the social anxiety problem. Specially when I talk to girls I suffered from panic attacks. Along with this I am facing stage phobia. Worried about myself. What should I do to get out of this situation?

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist46yrs exp

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The important sign in panic attack is the feeling that you cannot handle fear and you are using an extreme reaction to the fear. You cannot control panic attack but you can do two things: you can change your perception of the fearful stimulus and you can change your response to the fear. The first one is the best and will preempt the need for the second. If you are already far gone into the reaction mode, then you need both responses to counter the attack. The way we see things in life (like half empty or half full glass) is very dependent on our attitude. Attitude may have developed over many years but fortunately can change in a matter of sustained choices made and acted up on now. Accordingly you choose to see things as either threatening or as an opportunity. The opportunist will be positive and work with the situation to make good out of it. The individual who sees it as threatening, will, out of fear, try to avoid/run away from the situation or react in a panic. Yes, self-belief does impact it too, but you can see that prior to that, perception will tarnish the belief system too. Here, you can see that all the resolution lies in just changing your perception/attitude, even if it is against odds. Changing your response, despite the perception, is building up of your reserves and resources to handle any contingency that life throws up at you. And life throws up situations quite regularly and heavily. For this you need to develop a fit mind and body: The former, by meditation and mind exercises; and the later, by exercises and proper diet. Included in the development of the mind is the handling of emotions, in your case fear. These changes will give you a handle on life and your perceptions and responses. Stage fear and this anxiety are both related to ear too. This is the number one fear of all people. Even the most successful speakers admit to this problem. In fact the first 90 seconds are most frightening. The heart beat races to doubles the normal: 144 times a minute. So you are advised to prepare a good opening sentence to launch you off to a good start. The fear is generally centered around rejection: am I good enough? Will people like me? Will people know more than me? Etc. A host of self-conscious comparisons that only make you feel inferior. When the whole world is in the same boat, take heart and learn some basic techniques to overcome this stage fright. Join a Toastmasters club in your town and develop your public speaking skills and experience. Also remember some little rules: look for some pleasant face in the audience, look over the audience, prepare yourself well, talk simply, understand that you can only talk on what you know not on some grand made-up design of yours, there are always others who are better than you, pray before you speak, and so on. Focus on the three areas of public speaking according to their importance: Presentation and appearance (20%), audience (30%), and content (50%). There are a lot more points but space constraints do not permit me to be more elaborate. 

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