I have a boyfriend and I am in the relation for about 5 years. He is very serious about me and loves me truly. But I feel disrespected most of the times. I feel I am not given the importance. There are many incidents which make me feel so. He never admits his mistakes. Never apologises. He does not take any efforts to convince me or try to talk to me when m angry or upset. On the other hand I take extra efforts when he is angry. He just ignores talking to me in that situation. When hes out with his friends I give him all his space and do not disturb him in betn by my calls or msgs. Only thing I tell him is to cum home early at least by 12 or 12: 30 am. But he never listens to me. It really irritates me. If I talk to him calmly about my issues he is always upto proving himself right. I wait for him till 3 am just to see if he reaches home safely but even if I call him hes very casual and does not respect or appreciate what I do for him. I have already been in tough stages of life since I lost my Brother. I really get frustrated sad and upset most of the times. I get worried about the future. Kindly advice me on how to make him realize my worth. How to control getting angry and be casual if he does not listen to me.
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Relationships generally will get to develop certain patterns of behaviours that is an indication of things to come. This is because the relationship has lasted so long and certain things are being taken for granted. I think you may have inadvertently made him like that so that he has become used to it and even disrespects it. He cannot love you and disrespect you! So maybe he has gone off of this relationship and seems to value more his time out with his friends. He may be all of a nice guy but he has slowly taken advantage and he has defined the rules of the relationship that he is always in control. I don't think I am suggesting that you should control the relationship either. In fact no one should control the relationship but it should be a smooth, easygoing and flexible one. He may have an inflated ego by now and so he will want to behave like this even if you get married to him. It is better for the both of you to meet a relationship counselor and sort out these differences now. He will be inclined to listen to another person and value the objectivity that brings into the situation. You cannot go into this relationship, if there is no respect - that is very basic.
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It seems you are investing yourself completely in a relationship which is too much one-sided. Your friend is not so deep into this and hence is casual about it. It will do you tremendous good if you could gather up yourself and start focusing on your own self. At present your life centres around your friend but his life definitely does not centre around you. That is perfectly normal for him. But since you are latching on too hard onto this relationship, you seem to be out of focus for your own needs, wants, desires, satisfactions, etc. At present, you are trying more than 100% to control his behavior, but my simple request to you is, can you start with controlling your on self first-can you let him be the way he is but CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS HIM. IF HE IS TRUE TO YOU HE WILL BE THERE FOR YOU ANYWAYS. YOU MUST LEARN NOT TO FOCUS ON HIM ALWAYS BUT PUT THAT SAME TIME ON YOUR SELF- WHAT YOU WANT, HOW TO KEEP YOURSELF HAPPY, DO WHAT YOU ENJOY DOING, ETC. DEFINITELY THIS WILL HELP. IF YOU CAN AFFORD, TAKE SITTINGS WITH A PSYCHOLOGIST- STRONGLY ADVISED-TO LEARN HOW TO HANDLE YOURSELF. CAN TAKE ONLINE SITTINGS WITH ME. ALL THE BEST.
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There is no point clinging onto this fellow, committed relationship will work when both the partners respect each other and work towards maintaining the bond. In ur case it seems like a one sided hard work. Think deeply and decide, all the best
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