Me and my guy. Actually when I met him I even never knew that I will ever love him. He became my friend and than we intimately came close. And it became strong. It's almost 6 six year of a relationship. The things which bother me sometime of marriage I mean he is always afraid to talk about marriage. I don't maybe it's because he has very orthodox family and inter caste marriage are not allowed. He clearly says I love you but we don't have a future and I expect the same thing from you. Earlier these things bother me. Like I was always worried that what about our future. It's almost 6 years it constantly make me worry that we are intimately close we love each other we are so possessive we have sex and we care like husband wife. He is amazing. But I'm afraid. That if gonna talk to him about the future or wedding he ll get annoyed. Because this thing is not acceptable to him or I'm going according to him. This is an issue. I mean last we had a fight. I cannot tell you the whole thing. But yeah he became extremely furious. And said. I think you are taking sex too seriously. We should not be having sex or I think I should separate I do not want any hard feelings. Cause girls these days torchure boys. So I don't any problems for my future of my family. After hearing word separate! I cried like I cannot mention my feelings. And that to save that. I started saying his word (pls even I do not think of future. As you already told me that we won't have and do not worry I will never trouble you. Or something pls do not spoil. And more I said that night I won't be able to describe the whole) after seeing this you might think he is a bad Guy. But trust me. I see this when he is extremely angry. But I ve seen his love too. But I want commitment and a future together marriage I expect this from him. I don't have to discuss this with him. Because I'm too weak in front of him. I don't want to lose him. If it's the thing of parent I think we can convince them. He never talk to about it. I hope you can get my point. Pls suggest.
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You have not mentioned your age but if it is the time for marriage discussions, then it is time to do so. Six years of courtship and you have both become intimate also is enough time to find out if you two love each other genuinely. Now it has to be taken to the next level whether parents approve of it or not. Without asking nothing is going to be known. And anyway you have to ask if you want to get married. I agree with you that you need commitment and he cannot now take a stance because he is worried about his family. Ask and you will know what the family thinks of this proposal. Even if he gets angry, this matter has to be settled once and for all. Just because he gets angry, it does not mean that everything has to come to a halt. He is afraid but acting angry and that is no way of solving this problem. Even if the parents say no, you can choose the next course of action. In this status quo, you are neither here nor there. This is your life and you need to take him and this relationship to the next level, even if it is the most frightful thing to do. If he is comfortable let your parents do the initiation.
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Hi, I do not know how good or bad he is, never heard his side of story or know him. All I can say is one sided expectations can kill you. You want to marry him and he does not want to talk about it. Its a tough situation, if you can be without any commitment go ahead, if you seriously can not think of it any more, you have to take a stand and be strong once and for all, stop talking and sternly ask him about future of you both. That's the only thing rational right now. Being aggressive defensive avoiding the topic will not help, unless he has already and always made clear that he will not marry than its your fault to have agreed and gone too far with him, in this case you will have to take back step to avoid future emotional harm. Consult with me for counseling.
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