Sometimes I really feel down and cant get the motivations n to get up and do something. Then when I'm pushed, I react violently and aggressively. But other times, when I'm not under pressure, life is smooth! What should I do with these episodes?

Ms. Samiksha JainPsychologist11yrs exp

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Your aggression in hiding emotions like fear, embarrassment, sadness etc which men can't express in our society openly. In some societies it is acceptable to express aggression rather than weakness. This becomes very pressurising for men especially because our menfolk get implied messages to be strong at all times. You need to realise your limitations too as everyone has limitations including men. Yet, there will be times that you will face challenges which will be beyond your capacities. How can you remain calm, peaceful and in charge of your temper is an art by itself. 1. Learning to say "no" is a big art. Do this assertively and without getting angry. Know and accept your limitations. Share it with others. Help them in a way that is possible for you without stressing yourself. 2. Preempt and prepare yourself for upcoming demands. Knowing the pulse of your family and boss can help you feeling prepared for demands on you. 3. Sharpening your skills of planning, organising, time management. These will help you to feel more in control of yourself and your time. 4. Take out time for yourself. When you are busy taking care of others needs, you need to take care of your own body and mind. Relax, relax, relax.Do what you like in this time. Pamper yourself.You deserve it. Also remember that showing aggression and violence is an anti social behaviour. It separates people emotionally even though they live with you. Learn to respect yourself and them too. A counsellor will be able to help you learn skills of effective communication so that you don't feel too pressurised. 

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