I am 39 old women, single. I had a tough childhood (as I feel). As a person, I was extremely introverted, silent, lived with fear and self-doubt maybe because I was never good at studies (i worked very hard but never understood subjects). Grown in an environment of anger, domestic violence, aged parents with always financial and health issues. I was often bullied due to my silent nature, could never speak up in spite of having a lot of anger inside. In between all, I was sexually misused, also faced child abuse and since the home was not a place looked outside and met men who just wanted to flirt around for there needs. I fought hard, studied, worked, supported my family financially but could never make friends, and always been mostly alone. I am living by myself for almost 15-17 years now with 2 failed relations, never got married, and find it very hard to trust anyone. I left my job 6 mths back to pursue some studies but now I feel neither I have money nor job and no one around. I feel alone and low most of the time and find it very hard to concentrate on anything. As though why I am even alive.