Hey doc, I am a very cheerful person on the outside or I should say that I pretend to be happy in front of my family and friends but somewhere inside I am really disturbed. I feel really insecure in relationships. I am afraid of losing people whom i love. Therefore I don't express much about my feelings to them. I don't want to lose someone I love and thus that keeps me away from them. I am seeking your help and would be grateful if you revert to the same .

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist48yrs exp

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There are two harmful things you are doing that have no reasonable basis to be taken as facts: one, with the fear of losing them, you are not expressing your feelings; and secondly, you are afraid of their loss for no apparent reason. Now expressing feelings, you may be surprised actually brings people closer, and improves intimacy. It is not the feeling per se that is the problem but it is the way we express them ? you just have to be appropriate in the expression. The other fact is that people will not leave without a reason! What reason do you have that will make people abandon you just like that? Perhaps you think that you are not good enough for them to want to stay with you for long. Depending on how long you have lived with them, they would have already left you, if there was any concern about this. Talk to them about this and see what they have to say. I am absolutely sure that they will be shocked that you are entertaining such false thoughts. They may then give you sureties and loving assurance about how much they love you and that they will never ever do such a thing. Then you owe me a treat, and I so look forward to that. 

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