I am 29 year old married women. From last few days I am feeling something cheek in my throat. Also I feel tension in my back muscle and chest pain. Also I feel very low and tiered. After marriage I found myself tensed and it increases day by day. My husband's dad has cancer and I feeling fear of cancer all the time. I dont talk much now I feel difficulty to sleep. I wake up late. I feel low all the time. Also I have gained 11 kgs in last 1 year. Please advise what kind of problem I am suffering.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist47yrs exp

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You are definitely suffering from depression. I do not think that it is a good idea not to talk about what is going on. You must express your feelings to someone. But now I suggest you find a counselor and discuss what is going on. I do not know if it is because of the tension or for other reasons but you seem to have what is called weak ego boundaries. Your father-in-law?s cancer is, for whatever reasons his problem, but you seem to have identified with it and taking on the fear of you developing it yourself. You must learn to detach from him and only if there are sound reasons for you to get cancer, it is a remote possibility. Perhaps the marriage itself is too much pressure for you. When you meet with a counselor and if that person finds you in need of meeting with a doctor, then you must cooperate with both the therapies for good results. The earlier you treat this condition the better. In the meantime please do the following sincerely because you could resolve the problem better with good cooperation: Have a good night?s sleep, have a good breakfast of more proteins, meditate often, remain free of stress, eat a lot of fiber, nuts, avocado, exercise regularly, eat dark chocolate, do Yoga meditation exercises, etc. I suggest you do the opposite of what this depression makes you feel like doing (actually, not doing): you will need to fight this condition. You must become active; stay upright during the daylight time; meet people; never sleep during the day, wake up by 6 am every day, play some active games, especially contact games, do physical exercises, talk to people and join some social clubs, attend Yoga classes etc. Watch sitcoms on TV or comedies and cheer yourself up. Go for excursions in groups, for outings, camps, conferences, and religious conventions. Get a pet dog and spend time training it, exercising it and relating to it. Expose yourself to some sunlight every day, at least 30 minutes but not in the scotching heat. Whatever happens, please incorporate these three important adaptations in your life: always be responsible, be respectful, and be functional. If you did these three, lots of things will go well in life. Please pray and have faith in God to alleviate your sufferings. Don?t wait for others to help. Use your own motivation, which might be at its lowest, but persevere and win this battle. Above all to be really happy, you need to live in love and for love. Learn all about emotions and how to handle them and that will get you out of the depression rather easily and quickly. A counselor is there only to facilitate you, all the hard word must come from you, and your cooperation with that person is very critical for your success. Be positive everyday and learn to be contended with what you have. Do some left brain exercises: it is the happy brain. Here are a few suggestions: shut your left nostril and breathe, move your eyes from right to left and vice versa for at least half a minute at a time, and do callisthenic exercises with some form of counting, regularly. Whatever happens please cooperate with the therapy and do not discontinue until the condition is completely resolved. 

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