You have all my sympathies and I am very concerned that your husband has not reached what we call, ‘Hitting Rock Bottom’ as yet. To me his Rock Bottom seems to be death i.e. only death can stop his addiction! Anyway do not despair as yet and you may attempt the following and see how it works: I know you have tried a de-addiction center but he should not have been released if he was not ready. So in this attempt, he may be taken to another de-addiction center that are stricter and will also have follow up treatment and AA meetings for him to compulsorily attend. There is a medicine called disulfiram, which only the doctor can prescribe and it is very powerful that even if he attempts to drink a small quantity, he can have serious reactions that may sometimes entail hospitalization. You have to monitor his intake of the medicine and keep a close watch on him. He also has to go for regular counseling for at least three years! Apart from his health he will also affect the family and all his children will carry genetic factors for alcoholism. If he is into business or working, he will soon not be able to continue and he will go into financial ruin. He will lose all his friends and become ostracized by his society. He will lose his dignity, self-esteem, self-confidence, and become a misfit. He will also lose his sexual capacity, liver function, heart function, kidney etc. Now it is difficult to give up because he has become addicted to alcohol and has a lot to do. Under such circumstances it is best that when you admit him into a de-addiction center that you let him stay there for at least 6 months and after that attend counseling with a professional. The consumption of antabuse has to be carefully monitored to see that he not only consumes the medication but is also avoiding alcohol. Ultimately, it is his will power and the support that he receives from the medical fraternity and his close and dear ones. He must also learn to substitute and deal with the oral need, a rigid value system, the script issue, and of course take a look at all the genetic factors to plan a strategy not to get into what is called ‘cross addictions’ i.e. another form of addiction that may appear alright but is in fact as bad as the primary addiction. The center or hospital and the counselor will advise and guide him on several measures and precautions he will need to take to stay with his resolve
. Even after the rehabilitation he must attend AA meetings and continue this support for a long time. The family will also need to attend some sessions and go for Al-anon meetings for their co-dependency issues. He cannot be treated in isolation because the family has gotten used to his drinking and have made some unhealthy adaptations to somehow cope. The children will also have to attend meetings to work out their issues because of the father’s habit. In fact, they are all suffering from the Adult Children Of Alcoholics Syndrome (ACOAs), which in effect means that they are genetically predisposed to alcoholism or can have cross addiction problems and that they will have similar traits of the abusing alcoholic but in a milder form. There are special support groups for them all over the world. Should they touch or indulge in alcohol or any addictive substances or behaviors, they could also become full-fledged addicts themselves. Now you should not give up on him but neither should you harass him. Be continuously after him and in the end you will succeed. His medical condition warrants a very strict course of action. In case he is not cooperative, then there are some centers that will come and pick him up when he is totally drunk and take him by force. They will however need to get written permission from you and the family.