If you are having one of that dark days of depression
“ its okay “
Its okay to feel that darkness
If you're going through some sort of depression, I know it feels bad, bad enough that it might be even so hard for you to get out of your bed but just remember
“ depression comes to the people who uses it as fuel “
There are two types of people
The one who becomes the victim
Second is the one who accepts the fact that
• Depression makes him/her stronger •Depression makes him/her wiser •Depression makes him/her grow
I know its painful for you because life's freaking painful but suffering is a CHOICE
• you are not built to be average
You should study hard! I know, It can be stormy now but it won't rain forever. Someone wise said" everything in the end will eventually be okay and if its not okay then its not the end" AND JUST JUST READ THIS STORY.
I had something similar to this when I was a senior in college. I had been so antisocial and fatigued, that I literally lost contact with people even in the next room and all down the hall in my dorm. I, of course, had reached a point where I had to at least pass every class that I was taking. I was in a relationship that I wasn't sure was right for me. And, I simply could not focus, and felt so sad. I happened to be taking a psych class. One day, after class, I followed my psych prof to his office and very nervously told him how I was feeling.
His advice, of course, was given to me as a teacher, since we did not have a doctor patient relationship. This is a summary of his suggestions for me.
He told me that I should make any decisions that I could, even if in the long run that decision had to be examined again. He felt that the inner debate on making a decision about my relationship was taking too much emotional energy.
I was at a point where I just could not get any work done. He asked me what I thought the longest time was that I could study/do my work. I told him maybe 10 or 15 minutes. So he said to begin with 10 minutes. Take a break. Think about what you accomplished. Walk outside for a few minutes.
When you go back into the dorm, say hello to anyone you see. Just hello and their name if you know it. If there are any doors wide open on the hall, just lean in a bit and say hello, and name.
Then my next session should be 15 minutes. Then the same as above. He suggested that I have some kind of system to get me back on track after the breaks…have a friend check on me every hour or so, use a timer, have my parents call every hour, use an alarm clock…anything that would mark an ending and beginning to work.
And then 20 more minutes of work and a break with leaving the dorm, saying hello to people, and thinking about whatever I wanted.
He asked what I thought was reasonable break time and I just didn't know. So we talked about the most imposing things I needed to get done, and the amount of time that would take and the due date. So we decided that my breaks should be no more than 15 minutes. If there were things that took a larger block of time, like getting lunch or dinner, then I would extend the break to 30 to 40 minutes and then I returned to the work-break schedule. So after 15 min. Of work, then a break thinking about what I had accomplished, going outside, speaking to people was for the first 5 days, increasing to 20 min. Of work and then 30 minutes the last week.
It worked those last few of weeks of school. I felt like a robot and that is exactly what I needed to survive that time period. He met with me again for an hour, after a week and then an hour the next week. Of course, he agreed to help me based on my agreeing to get therapy as soon as I finished up.
In summary, I think what he was trying to do was stabilize me and put me into an autonomic program, so I could accomplish something, He also felt that I should at the least make human contact by speaking to people by name. Of course, what happened was people saying hi in return, asking about this or that, and a few people dropping by my room to chat. And, frequently, I found myself stretching out the length of the work time.
I had to limit my talks with the person in my relationship, and not be with him for about 3 weeks. It was worth it since I did not want to lose an entire semester of school with only 3 weeks left.
I hope this helps. You need to talk this through with your parents so that you can see a therapist as soon as possible. If for some reason you cannot approach your parents with this, either choose a teacher, a minister, other family member, or any adult who can be your advocate with your parents. You school or local community may also be able to provide help or counselling. By gaining some control over your life, it makes you feel more alive and helps you think about solutions.
You will be in my thouGHT.
THANK yOU All The best.