I am aged 38. I have been married for 12 years. I lost interest in sex even since I came to know that my husband is a womanizer. But has been just offering myself physically due to fear of breaking marriage. I have two kids now. Somehow hate when he tries to have sex with me. He has no feelings towards me but just want to try out mechanically as if I am an object. How do I get rid of this. He never understands. Feel like divorcing him. As there is no bonding but is forced to stay back due to financial burden as I have two kids (I also work and earn well). How to get rid of such difficult situations?Please help sir .

Dr. Vikas KhannaPsychologist17yrs exp

95% (473 ratings)

Ask Free Question

Its for you to decide, but let me tell you half there and half here approach is most distressing. Sex is a pleasure seeking self- centric activity. Now since you are selective in your sexual partner and he is not, you are bound to get hurt what are the options for you 1. You should also get rid of the selectivity. 2. You should take a stand of not letting him use you when you do not wish to be used. You can elicit reason of his infidelity. 3. Take a divorce, only after securing financially yourself and your children and start a new life. 4 keep living with him with gay abandon, dispassionately, focusing on your and your kids happiness in whatever way. But believe me, you will suffer endlessly if you do not choose one you should look for your happiness. 

1 person found this helpful

Ms. Juhi ParasharPsychologist4yrs exp

94% (3231 ratings)

Ask Free Question

Hi lybrate-user, If your husband has fallen too deep into the womanizing pattern, you may find it necessary to seek professional help. Psychologists believe that womanizing is a form of addiction and needs to be acknowledged as well as treated as such. The womanizer is the only one who can help himself and has to want to change in order to successfully give up his womanizing ways. According to most psychologists, an extreme form of this addiction can be treated with residential intensive treatment program followed by therapy and Sex and Love Addiction counseling. Should you leave him? The decision whether to separate from a womanizing husband lies with you. If you have suffered years of emotional abuse and feel that you would be happier on your own or with a more devoted partner, maybe you should explore the option of moving out. However if you want to give your marriage another chance, you best bet lies in seeking professional help for your husband. Here too it may be necessary to stay away from your husband for some time if your counselor feels it is necessary to safeguard your and your kids? emotional well-being. A womanizing husband may seem like an impossible cross to bear. However recovery is possible with awareness, time and commitment. Finally, the rewards of recovery are worth the effort for it not only makes the husband a better partner and person but gives a fresh lease of life to the marriage. Consult for any guidance. 

1 person found this helpful

Dr. Ashwini VivekSexologist27yrs exp

93% (898 ratings)

Ask Free Question

Hello Ms. Lybrate-user I can understand your turmoil and suffering. I will just suggest a few pointers 1: it is natural for you to feel the loathing towards a womanizer husband. You mentioned you submit to him just to keep the marriage. 2: think about this, normally two people marry and it is expected that they satisfy each other's sexual needs. As long as you feel you loathe him. Your sexual experience is only filled with your hatred for him and thus. A self loathing towards yourself! ask yourself do you hate your self for being and remaining in this situation? 3: if you decided to push aside his womanizing patterns, is he a good husband to you and good provider for his children and you? can you recall any romantic or feelings of love for him? 4: if the answer is negative, and as you said you are earning well yourself, the next question is" why are you opting out to stay with him and hurt yourself by hating him? because your hatred hurts only you and not him. He is enjoying his life assuming you are fine with it the way it is or you can not stop him. 5: so you have a choice to make. There is no medication, no miracle cures, or no god or or saints even black magic to cure him of his womanizing. Either you stay in this marriage and hurt your own self or you get out of it and find your own peace of mind. 6: children always adapt as they grow and some day when you look back they will understand and in fact protect you. 

1 person found this helpful