I become very loud and loose control at times due to many issues of the past or surroundings, this is hampering my personal life. I know and realize that control is the best remedy and giving other their space and time is the solution. How can I remove this odd trait of mine.

Ms. Hemal Sanjay KuntePsychologist5yrs exp

90% (1162 ratings)

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Dear lybrate user, I am happy to see that you are accepting that you need to change some of your reactions. Most of our behaviour we learn from our parents, grandparents, teachers or other important people in our life. Probably while growing up you have learnt these reactions. So now you need to re-learn how to react in different situations. You have mentioned about certain issues in the past, which are affecting your present life. In my opinion, you need to sort out your past issues and learn to" let go" of certain things. After doing this, you will be able to move forward in life. You have certain suppressed anger, guilt or shame, sadness etc. These suppressed emotions need healthy outlet. Once you are relieved of this pent up emotions you will be able to behave rationally. To do this, please talk to a counsellor who will help you in giving healthy outlet to your emotions and will also help you in learning some assertive techniques. Once you learn this, you will be able to express your emotions in socially acceptable way and people around you will have their own space and your rights also will be protected. 

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