He is my boyfriend, we are like dating from almost 2 years. I do not know what is his problem sometimes he starts shouting then he says sorry. Though he has many family problems n tensions regarding his future. He says hes changing and will never shout but whenever im pissed off n he ask me in a very good way that what happened, as I tell him that im jealous of that girl or whatever he starts shouting. Im tired. How to treat him? He is a boy, he is 21 he cries too. Boy do not act like that. Sometimes he laughs too much loudly sing songs which irritates me.

Ms. Hemal Sanjay KuntePsychologist5yrs exp

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I think your boy friend is very expressive. He probably doesn't know how to handle his anger. Crying is not weakness, it just a way of expressing our sorrow. Unfortunately, in our culture we are told since our childhood that boys do not and should not cry. Which is not true. So if he is crying, he is not acting like a small boy, but just relieving his pain. He feels comfortable in your company so he cries when he is with you. He needs to understand how his family problems are affecting his life and needs to learn how to resolve his issues. He needs to learn some" anger management" techniques. Whenever you are getting irritated by his reactions, please try to communicate it to him. Use" i" statements like -" I get irritated when you sing loudly or I don't like it when you do this instead of saying" your singing irritates me" or you can say" I am hurt or feel insulted/disrespected when you shout at me" please express your feelings using" i" statements. I think he is making some efforts to improve his behaviour. Ask him to learn the above mentioned skills and whenever you see any improvement in his behaviour, appreciate it. He will be encouraged to behave like that thereafter. 

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