I am 18 right now and I lost my father when I was 14, this question is about mental health. I hardly get good sleep and my circadian rhythm is messed up. I had some family issue with my grandparents and uncles currently don't have any financial issues. My relatives said some crude words that I still think about everyday and feel head aches like my head is tensed. Everyday before sleeping I overthink I am clearly known with the fact that what I am doing wrong and is shouldn't overthink but can't help it. I have had serious suicide thoughts sometimes for absolutely stupid reasons. I am not a social guy and ever since I joined a private college for pol. Tech. I am out of contacts with other peoples I haven't made friends in 4 years and now I even started preferring not to talk to anyone. Now I am having problems while studying and I sometimes get jumbled and things just don't get in my head. I was a sharp student back in 11th grade I even skipped grades when I was little. My blood pressure was around 145/65 last time when I got it measured. I want to know if I should go to a psychiatrist for consultancy I am scared to ask so trying to post anonymously here. Any help is appreciated.