I have recently had a breakup with my GF i find it very difficult To get her put of my mind that is the reason i feel depressed lost and alone all the time i cry everyday i have felt a drastic decrement in my apetite and have loat 12 kg in 2 months i still want to talk to her but she refuses to talk i hurt myself i was not this kind of a person previously i used to enjoy life and was very happy i was called upon by my frnds all the time because of my jolly nature but now no one want to talk to me.I even get suicidal tendencies many times I want myself back any kind of help or suggesstion will be highly appreciated. Thanks in advance

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist48yrs exp

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It looks like you are pining for her after the break up. Have you analyzed why you two had this fallout? If it your fault, then apologize and see if she is amenable. If not you may have done something quite unforgiveable. But you say you cry every night, and you have lost so much of weight and friends that it seems you have discovered that a heterosexual relationship is very different from normal relations. It is very intense, and the very thing that makes it attractive (the opposite sex and all its nuances), can also be its nemesis. You must learn what that difference was about your past relations and this particular one and find out how to live with a love relationship. There must be love, respect, commitment, honesty, trust, and freedom in the romantic scene. If however, this is final, then remove all associations of hers: gifts, notes, letters, cards, emails, and any reminders to get her out of your system, not mind. Keep the good memories but don?t indulge in them. Get back to your old pals and revive those contacts. Normally when we get a girl friend, we drop all our friends and live exclusively with her. This is not a good thing to do, generally. So do get back to them and get into good social circles. They will help you get over her. Do not talk ill or malign your ex to your friends, whatever was the reason. That is unfortunately a very bad habit many of us have ? we must still respect her reputation and treat her with dignity. Since this beak up is so serious for you that suicidal thoughts are also plaguing you, do meet up with a counselor and talk about your feelings, openly. This is not the end of the world and she is not the only girl in life. You will find another but learn not to repeat the mistakes that led to the breakup. This time choose wisely and behave like a true gentleman. 

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