You must immediately seek help from a counselor. Your gear is creating an obsession and that will gradually lead to anxiety and compulsive behaviors. Before it gets out of control and difficult to deal with seek help earlier, especially about this fear
. If the fear is of recent origin, you could perhaps identify it and deal with it. But if it is from a long past, then much work has to be done to sort that out. If medication is required please cooperate with both the therapies to get the best results. Sometimes this kind of nervousness could be genetic too. In the meantime you must do certain things to build your constitution physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Mental stability can be achieved by learning a few skills in handling emotions in an appropriate manner. Stress
management skills, which have a lot to do with expressing emotions, will need to be a major part of your recovery program. Emotionally you need the help of a counselor and that will help you tremendously to move from anxiety
to normal fear. Please persevere and cooperate through all the support you need and you will come through successfully. Develop your body’s health by physical fitness through exercise, good rest (sleep), and a proper diet
. Any way what you need to focus on is to do vigorous exercise of the aerobic kind for the heart’s fitness; meditation
for the brain’s fitness; sleep for a well rested mind and body; a sound spiritual well being for good confidence and stability; and a diet with lots of vegetables, fruits, and whole grains. Vigorous exercise, especially of the callisthenic kind, will make your heart, which is a muscle, grow larger; and then your heart will need to beat less often and you will respond to the anxiety with a calmer disposition. If your mind, constitution, and your emotions are in check and fit, you will never be disturbed again.