I am a Hindu married woman of 38 years deeply in love with a married Muslim man. My husband came to know about my affair and asked me to leave the house and filed for divorce. I started living in a rented flat and started working in a call centre. My husband started mentally torturing and harassing my boyfriend. Soon my boyfriend started telling me to go back to my husband and wanted to break up with me. I was so devastated that I overdosed myself with antidepressants. As my husband kept on spying on me, he somehow guessed that I had committed suicide, he took me to the hospital where I was kept in the ICU. I was unconscious for 5 days. When I came back to my senses, my husband told me that he had informed my boyfriend about my suicide and since then he has switched off his mobile. Later I found out that my boyfriend had also deactivated his facebook account. I sent him many mails which he did not reply. I was heart broken and was unable to live for a single second without him. My husband was continuously telling me against him. So out of anger, frustration and desperation, I lodged a FIR against my boyfriend. The same day he was arrested. He was charged with rape, fraud, religion act and sent to jail. He wanted to talk to me in the lock up, I too wanted to talk to him but everything happened so fast and because of my husband's instructions to the police, I couldn't talk to him. After 2 days I went to meet him in the jail. He told me that he loves me and missing me. He switched off his phone because my husband threatened to put him in jail. My husband also asked him to block me from everywhere and cut all contacts from me. He further said that he went to the hospital everyday to enquire about my condition. He said that he will never go away again and will do whatever I say. I asked him to prepare an agreement where he will agree to marry me after my divorce. He accepted. Since then I go and meet him in jail every week. We both have signed the agreement and compromise. We forwarded his bail petition to the lower court where it was rejected. Now next week the bail plea will be submitted in the judge court. He has been going through hell in jail. I am feeling extremely guilty and traumatized. Meanwhile when my husband realized that my actual motive behind lodging case against him was not to punish him but to compromise and settle with him, he asked me to leave the house again and he said that once I leave the house, he will file divorce again but this time without any alimony. If I refuse then he will file adultery case against me and that will put my boyfriend in jail again. On the other hand, my boyfriend is telling me that he has deep financial crisis, so how will he maintain two families. I think after my boyfriend comes out of jail, I will commit suicide again. Please advice what to do?
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The Description u had given is strictly showing ur Mental Imbalance&Immaturity. First of all,Being married,Falling in love..that too with another married person is showing irresponcibilty. Just think once abt the all deeds u had done till now. In one way,After falling in love,Relationship with him is directly or indirectly suffered another family.(Of his own wife&Children..if present). Here u also suffered ur husband by breaking the Trust by crossing ur Moral values. Just think,If ur Husband had filed case against u or him...(Just like u how did to ur Boyfrnd)..what would b ur condition would b now in society? But here u hav to Recognise Ur Husband's Broadmind&Balance in taking decission.Moreover He accepted u again,Without doing all above possible deeds. &U r not beleiving ur Husband,Who has come into ur life legally.,But u simply fallen with words of unknown person easily.Here u hav to think abt that perdon's attitude also.How can u trust him &His words withoit deeply knowing,That too a person who is cheating his own family,&Moreover He is not ready to leave his wife(Plz dont ask him to leave them....as if u r in such situation..How ur condition?..U already experienced that trouble by staying outside alone). &He is now expressing his inability to take care of both families.Then r u ready to Bear his family expences? Now as u r in Young age,Surely ur all relation is just limited to Body....not soul. Fairly u hav to accept this fact. U r blaming ur husband that He did all these..by beleiving that boy ftnd's words. But r u sure ...how far he is reliable abt his comments? Just think inmatured wsy..not like a College/Teen girl. Value ur Hubby's love. &One more thing that these complaints u filed against that perdon also showing ur Childish immatured behaviour/Revengful attitude&indicating ur Srlfishness If that person also may b thinking in same way to come out of all those cases&Then simply,He uses u&Leaves...Then think what would b uts future? U cant blame Ur husband that he is threatening u that he will file case against adultery..etc.But almost what u r doing is the same...may b hard&Rude to hear.,But Fact. &If urs love is true towards that person,U hav to take rwsponcibilty to bear his family also,&Without adking alimony...Ofcourse after Divorce,If u get married him,Legally u cant get alimony.&If u dont want to get married him but want to live together..in that way,U will loose ur Social position also. So,Think well to correct ur misdeedswrong decissions. All the Best.
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Hello thanks for sharing your experience. I am not going to give you any lecture and morality. My suggestion is that to ask yourself do you need any of this men to survive? One thing which you had been missing is there is no place for vengeance or force or manipulation in love. Therefore none of you loved each other deeply. It would be a good idea to leave both the men and start your life afresh. Focus on your strengths, try to earn your own living. I am sure you will live a life which will be valuable to yourself. Committing suicide is not an answer, the answer is to find the capability in yourself to survive against all odds. This is a valuable life, it should not be wasted in things like this. Regards.
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I hear your concerns. As the case is complicated, you would need professional help. Please consult a licenced clinical psychologist (make sure they are licensed) and take a decision by yourself about your life. I can not direct your life. Solution would be generated within yourself when you explore your problem with the help of a professional clinical psychologist. Seek help urgently.
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You are more in need of legal advice. Hire a good advocate and he will fight your case and get your lover free. But you have lot to introspect and decide your future.
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