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I am in a relationship for 5 yrs. There are a lot of problems. My bf loves doing all the things I hate. He avoids me and treats me just like a doormat. Doesn't take my calls most of the times and calls only when he wants to talk. That too is very rare. Maybe once in a month. Rest of the month I am making 50 to 60 calls a day and literally running after him. He disrespects me mistreats me and avoids me most of the time. Still why am I running after him. I have tried so many times to leave but I am unable to do so. I pick up his calls whenever he calls and I expect things will be nice and we can mend things but it doesn't happen. He talks to me nicely for a day and talks of improving the relationship but then is again avoid from the next day. These things started a year back when he started taking alcohol n N10 tablets as we were going through a rough phase. He is almost a regular drinker. I am under tremendous mental pressure. Please help me know y I am unable to leave. Please help.

1 Doctor Answered
Dear Lybrate user although I can understand your feelings that you love him so much that you are unable to leave him inspite of the fact that he mistreats u, disrespect you and avoids you by not taking you r call and above all he is into heavy drinking. The reason that you have asked that why you r not able to leave him the reason for this is that May be you r low self concept that is you r own views abt you r own Self .just ask these questions to you r own Self and may be you r able to see things in a different perspective also. 1. What are the Positive qualities that you r able to find in your own Self. 2 .when you see urself in a mirror what features of your physical body do you like .Means do you really love you rown Self .the truth is that it does not matter whether anybody likes you or not but it does matter to a great extent that whether you like you r self or not .so when you start loving you r own Self its like your eyes open up. And you r able to see what decisions are good and what are not for me. And that means that you r not driven by you r emotions but have a rather logical aspect of looking at things .In this case you r driven by emotions so much that you r not able to make decisions which are logical and reality oriented. As you see that the person does not love ,he avoids you and disrespects you so what kind of stable relationship could you expect from him ,that you have to see also since he is into heavy alcohol ,u will also have to see that whether you r advancing into bigger trouble if you plan to get married to him .all these decisions you have to make but you can only do it if you do it though logical mind not through your emotional mind. I suggest that you love you r ownself feel proud of you r own accomplishments and achievements and think about your own Self also you r own growth and goals in you the last remain involved in creative activities that you love to do and keep you r self occupied as far as possible. Hope you may benefit from it .take care.
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