I Can not look at any person Normally. I am in a constant sense of fear and anxious that I will look indecently (private part. I fear extremely Guilty because I do not want to And so all my concentration goes in maintaining eye contact. Of all the hrs At which I am woken up, More than 90% of the time I am thinking about it. If The person is standing some Meters near me then its ok but if it is far way then I can not control. So I fear looking at person. I am constantly in bad mood and depressed because of this. So I can not sit a classroom. And I Feel very guilt In telling That this happens to whatever persons be it a family Friend unknown teacher And it makes me feel very bad about myself. I fear losing My friends And as a result I can not converse with anyone. Maybe I am having some Poor eyesight because of forcefully excessive conversation. I do not want to hurt anyone. During Excessive concentrating, There comes a time that I can not control and blush. When I look myself In mirror Straightly my eyeballs looks straight but I sense I can look sideways blurredly. So in a classroom when I look to teacher I can sense looking at sideways students as a result They gets distracted And this hampers my concentration to a large extent. The same thing happens at every duration of day whether its driving ,Home, Public occasions, stopping at traffic light, Walking to classroom, Sitting in examination hall and infact playing Sports. I avoid Public occasions. I try to avoid it by looking down But blushes. As I do not want to hurt anyone So I remain alone. People (Some family persons as well which are in my house) enjoy that and Sometimes Maybe they do Purposefully And that compounds On my problem. I pledge to Follow the instruction Because I want to live a normal life and get away with the thoughts of depression and feel good about myself.
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Dear lybrate-user, These are the boons and banes of being 18 years old. It is good you found the courage to talk about it. Most of the young people of age 16 to 20 will be feeling similar emotions, with varying intensity. First of all, do not feel guilty, but at the same time, you have to build the will power, the maturity to know that such things will not help you in the long run. Read biography of great people. It is at their young age that they found unique passion to find a goal for the future and put their full energy behind perusing an activity that will be good for the people of this world. Use you energy to find doing a unique, beneficial for mankind. When you are able to tell friends and family interesting things, they will stop teasing you. You too will be more self respecting. Regards.
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