What to do if I don't feel good from inside. I get angry every now and then, I feel like I am in stress all the time. I want to live in peace place but can't want to live alone.

Question

You need to examine yourself either by introspection or by talking to someone. Ideally, this would be a counselor. The fact that you are aware of anger is in itself a good start. If this anger is not expressed, it will cause stress and havoc within you. If it is anger from childhood, we need to explore the likely causes. You need to be able to live with people because we are all social animals and need each other. You have the fear of people. It might have stemmed from some bad experiences of rejection while you were growing up. So the solution is that the person who loves himself enough will never feel lonely or threatened by people. There may have been some dependency issues too that will complicate this matter. In that case trust will be something to reckon with in social relationships. If you do not trust others, life can become very difficult. The ultimate development as a personality is to live on interdependent support. We are all social animals, gregarious by nature and need each other all through life. That does not mean we live like parasites. We live supporting each other. After you have learned to love yourself, by natural extension you learn to love other people and to trust them up to the extent a person is trustworthy. Social anxiety is quite common, which is why public speaking is the number one fear among humans ? it has to do with the fear of rejection. So, all of us are in the same boat. It is very encouraging to know that this is a universal problem. Take the risk and relate to people willfully and discover what it takes to overcome your anxiety. Go for a personality development course, attend workshops, group meetings, seminars, conferences and join the toastmasters club. Familiarity with people will build confidence. People are not out to get you. Yes, there will be criticism but you will learn to take it in your stride over time. I put people on a program to talk to two strangers every day, and it works like magic, if you analyze your reactions and developed new strategies for the next day?s meetings. Finally, pray and have faith in god when you are out relating to others. His presence is a confidence booster.

Saul Pereira · Accepted Answer

You need to examine yourself either by introspection or by talking to someone. Ideally, this would be a counselor. The fact that you are aware of anger is in itself a good start. If this anger is not expressed, it will cause stress and havoc within you. If it is anger from childhood, we need to explore the likely causes. You need to be able to live with people because we are all social animals and need each other. You have the fear of people. It might have stemmed from some bad experiences of rejection while you were growing up. So the solution is that the person who loves himself enough will never feel lonely or threatened by people. There may have been some dependency issues too that will complicate this matter. In that case trust will be something to reckon with in social relationships. If you do not trust others, life can become very difficult. The ultimate development as a personality is to live on interdependent support. We are all social animals, gregarious by nature and need each other all through life. That does not mean we live like parasites. We live supporting each other. After you have learned to love yourself, by natural extension you learn to love other people and to trust them up to the extent a person is trustworthy. Social anxiety is quite common, which is why public speaking is the number one fear among humans ? it has to do with the fear of rejection. So, all of us are in the same boat. It is very encouraging to know that this is a universal problem. Take the risk and relate to people willfully and discover what it takes to overcome your anxiety. Go for a personality development course, attend workshops, group meetings, seminars, conferences and join the toastmasters club. Familiarity with people will build confidence. People are not out to get you. Yes, there will be criticism but you will learn to take it in your stride over time. I put people on a program to talk to two strangers every day, and it works like magic, if you analyze your reactions and developed new strategies for the next day?s meetings. Finally, pray and have faith in god when you are out relating to others. His presence is a confidence booster.

Archana Eruvenkai · Answer

Hey lybrate-user! to me it seems like you are having some unsaid battle you?re fighting and turning the anger within it could be some childhood issues or maybe a recent event, you will have to sit with a professional to figure it out. However, i?m glad and commend you for being self-aware of your feelings and emotions. Also, don?t look at anger as a bad feeling. It is a good feeling and a very important emotion. The problem you are having is that it seems to rise in you fast and without any reason; and ofcourse the inappropriate expression of it. Was there any provocation for this anger and negative outburst? If there was, then it seems that you can look into why that caused such a reaction. If it was without provocation, then there may be something else that is waking up only now because of other factors. There may be some issues in your past that may have come up under some mysterious circumstances and needs to be attended to. I suggest that you meet with a counselor and get help with regard to your emotions and how to deal with them, especially with this anger. You are still young and have just started a prime time in your life, i?m sure you don?t want to live it with this uncertainty of emotions. Few things i?d recommend from my end would be to wake up around 6 am at least and do some exercise every day, as permitted by your doctor. You must learn some skills around emotions and how to express your feelings, especially fear and anger. They are both good feelings but the way you are dealing with them or in fact not dealing with them is causing the problem. You can learn that from a counselor. Doing responsible things every day is good, but you must not take on too much to cause you to stress. You can also do some yoga exercises and meditation. Expose yourself to 30 minutes of sunlight every day, preferably in the midafternoon but do not get scotched. Take a multivitamin and multi-mineral with any calcium tablet every day (you can try amway?s nutralite - a bit expensive but it has all the ingredients - or becadexamin capsules with any calcium). Sleep well, eat healthily, and organize your day well. You actually need to go out and socialize and explore relationships. Stress management is really good for you to learn. I hope you this helps you for the time being and meanwhile you can search for a counselor to find an answer to your feelings.